Breaking up is one of the most awkward and painful things people go through. But breaking up with a friend with benefits is just plain awkward.

Once you start a friends with benefits relationship, you know that you can get out of it anytime. The problem is that there is no easy way to get out of it, unless you have a guilt-free, circumstantial reason. Most people would say that you don’t need to break up with your FWB. Unfortunately, that can end badly for so many reasons.

Why breaking up with an FWB sucks

Any type of breakup isn’t ideal. But there’s just something about the friends with benefits breakup that makes everything so much more awkward.

#1 They might like you as more than a “friend.” This is one of the biggest problems in engaging in a friends with benefits arrangement. Sooner or later, one of you will become attached. This can happen if neither of you are seeing anyone else, or if one of you has an underlying emotional or personality problem.

#2 You could be co-workers. This can get awkward, because your whole dynamic at work can get really screwed up. Both your decisions could be affected by your relationship, and it might even do irreparable damage to your workflow. [Read: What to do when a relationship with a co-worker ends]

#3 You work in the same industry. Aside from working in the same company, working in the same industry also poses a problem. It’s hard to look professional to your peers when someone starts mouthing off about the fact that you slept with someone and ended it badly.

#4 You might end up making the same sets of friends in the future. Depending on your views on the situation, this could either be a bad thing or a non-issue. You might have wanted to keep things private, but that offer gets taken off the table when you end your FWB relationship in a bad way.

#5 They could react negatively to it. You never know what can upset any one person. If your FWB feels wronged, they could act out in so many different ways. They might get hurt and lash out at you verbally or even physically. You have every right to step away from a situation you don’t like, but there are instances when the consequences make it hard for you to do so. [Read: 8 smart ways to deal with a hostile ex]

How to break things off

When you feel like breaking off an FWB relationship for any reason at all, don’t be afraid to do it. It is much easier in theory, because the agreement in itself has no strings attached. Still, it’s best to do it in a proper way, rather than be an asshole about it.

#1 Try not to have sex before you break it off. Some couples can’t help themselves in these kinds of situations. Either you pity that person or you want to have one last good bout of no strings attached sex. Whatever the reason, avoid doing it because all that sex can mess up your rational thinking. [Read: Breakup sex and 10 circumstances where it works]

#2 Do it through text. But don’t do it using e-mail. That’s just tacky. Since being FWB is not a big deal, I doubt there would be any issues with breaking up through text. Or at least a phone call.

#3 If that doesn’t work, do it in a public setting. If your partner tries to avoid the subject, ask them out in a neutral, but public, setting. You can do it in a bar, perhaps, or a supermarket. Just not anywhere romantic. This way, you can do it without causing a scene or having sex… Again.

#4 Give an honest reason, if possible. If you want to end things in a civilized manner, be open and honest about your reasons. It’s better to give a sincere reason than a lie that can be called out in the future. It will also give them closure, so that they can move on to their next relationship, FWB or otherwise.

#5 If all else fails, tell them this reason: “My ex is back in the picture. We’re trying to make it work.” Seriously. This is the most effective excuse in the book!

How to do damage control

If the methods above don’t work, and you’re still left with a marginally clingy FWB, you can opt to take the high road and just leave things as is. No one can force you or guilt trip you into a relationship that you don’t want. The best thing you can do is to just be nice about it.

#1 Be magnanimous about it. Don’t be a bitch or a dickhead about it. Be as nice as possible. Use a soothing tone, and don’t make it seem like it’s your partner’s fault. This is where euphemisms and compliments can come in handy.

#2 Be self-deprecating. Even if it’s not your fault, it is still your decision. Take responsibility for this loss of a booty call, and make sure that you look like you feel bad about it.

#3 Offer your sincere friendship. If you can handle the pressure of being friends with a former FWB, then go for it. It’ll make the transition easier, because they won’t feel like they’re being left out to dry. If you don’t want to, I suggest ending it all immediately – Band-aid method! [Read: 16 scenarios where you can’t be friends with your ex]

#4 Never go out alone with them ever again. If they agree to the friendship thing, do everything in your power to keep it that way. Only invite them over when there are other people around. That way, you can be held accountable by your friends and their judgmental looks.

How not to relapse to your old FWB routine

Even when you successfully break up with your FWB, there is still a possibility that you and your partner will go back to your old ways. It might be due to nostalgia or an unbearable dry streak, but think about why you broke it off. Is it really worth starting again and going through the same awkward breakup?

#1 Just say no. There might be times when you feel guilty or horny, but try to control yourself. You ended things for a reason. Feeling bad about it is not a good excuse to start things up again. [Read: 12 reasons the no contact rule works like a charm]

#2 Call a friend. And listen to them. Make sure that they are the kind of friend who won’t let you do anything stupid. It’s also preferable if they have the guts to call you on your bullshit in a loud and obnoxious manner. Shame always works.

#3 Find someone else to focus on. If you feel like you can’t say no and find yourself in the arms of your ex-lover, find someone new to pull your attention away. Go on a friendly date with someone you like, or find someone to talk to online. Any type of distraction – aside from sex, that is – is an effective way to keep yourself in check. [Read: Why rebound relationships can be good for you]

Some of the longest and deepest relationships don’t last. What makes you think that being friends with benefits is any different? It’s physically fulfilling, but it’s shallow. It’s not something that you’re supposed to miss.

Being friends with benefits is a means to an end – that end being an orgasm. You can get that anytime, but there are more important things that you might want to focus on. With that said, keep the tips above in mind when you finally decide to call it off for good!

If you’re a commitment-phobe, stop the maddening cycle of hurting others. Use these signs, learn to come to terms and make a change for the better.

Browsed through your Rolodex and realized that all your friends are either married, having children, or in serious relationships whereas the biggest decision you have to make right now is whether you want to take home the Merlot or Pinot Noir?

If you are successful, sociable and a ball of fun to be around but still single, there is a chance that you may be a commitment-phobe. This term simply refers to someone who is terrified of commitment and who prefers a lifestyle unmarred by having a significant other.

Sure, it may seem that singles have the most fun. One night stands, flirting with the hottest people in the room and dancing the night away at a mega club may seem like the ideal life for many, including you. There is nothing wrong with being single.

However at the end of the day, you have to realize that the reason you are single may not be because your exes suck and do not live up to expectations, it may just be you!

12 clear signs you have commitment issues and ways to fix them

It is not a crime to live for yourself, but you have to know when to admit that you have commitment problems. Only then can you grow out of it, fight your fears, and delve into a mature and adult relationship with someone special *if you want to, of course*.

The vicious cycle of dating and hurting people has to stop. Commitment-phobes have the same modus operandi, so it is relatively easy to spot someone who cannot hold down a long-term relationship. Here are some clear-cut signs that show you have a phobia when it comes to commitment. [Read: Commitment-phobes and their love for serial monogamy]

#1 You need to maintain independence. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in control of you life and destiny. However, if the thought of someone playing a role in your life’s decision making processes terrifies you, then you have a problem.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to you not wanting to make sacrifices to please someone else. You feel that if you open your heart, home and life to someone, you will lose all your independence, which is honestly not true. On the contrary you will receive love, security and companionship in return.

#2 You gravitate towards unavailable partners. Probably why all your relationships have not worked out is because you unconsciously gravitate towards partners whom you know will not be there till the end. Whether you date someone much older or younger than you, have massive religious or cultural differences, is married, lives abroad, or is simply another commitment-phobe, you know deep down inside that the relationship will run its course and you do not have to worry about committing long term.

Whether you realize this or not, this is a clear sign that you have commitment issues. All you have to do is look back at your past relationships and you will find that the one similarity they all have is that they were doomed from the start.

#3 You have not been in a committed relationship. Either you have never been in a committed relationship before, or have not been in one for a very long time. Even if you are currently in one, you can truthfully and unflinchingly say, “He/she is not the one. It’s just fun.” No matter which way you look at it, if you cannot bring yourself to fully commit to someone with the goal of it lasting the long term, you probably have commitment issues. [Read: The 23 kinds of relationships that define your love life]

#4 You judge other relationships. As someone with commitment issues, you probably constantly judge other relationships. Whether it is your best friend’s latest squeeze, you neighbor’s fiancée, or your aunt’s 20-year marriage, you are probably full of opinions and judgments, most of them negative. You think that their partners are not good enough and that your friends are compromising their happiness just to be with someone.

You probably also think that the life that they have built with their significant other is dull and uneventful. You are also likely to think, “Who would want that?” and assume that you have a greater sense of independence and fun than them. 

#5 You fantasize too much. You probably fantasize about living a life of glamor with the perfect partner. More often than not, this perfect person is someone totally unattainable, like a celebrity or someone who is already married. Whether it is cruising the Aegean Sea with Kate Upton or moving to South America with Ryan Gosling, you live in your fantasy world more than in reality. You would rather fantasize about having the perfect relationship with someone unreal than forge a lasting relationship with someone real.

#6 You are picky. The person you see yourself with has to look, talk, dress, behave and think a certain way for you to even give them the time of day. Your list of requirements is long and you would rather be single than “settle” for someone who does not check all the boxes. Every time you meet someone, you brush them off as unsuitable because they do not meet your requirements.

There is nothing wrong with having standards, but what you have to realize is that the perfect partner is a myth and that your self obsessed need to control, criticize and judge other people is an indication that you have issues with commitment. [Read: 10 harsh dating tips to really make dating work in your favor]

#7 You have a broken heart. If you are still reeling from your last relationship, there is a chance that you are not ready to commit. For example, you may have been deeply in love with someone and even went so far as to believe that that person was the one. However, things took a turn for the worse when your partner realized that you were not the one and decided to end things.

You probably figured that if you built a wall around your feelings and never let anyone else in again, you would be just fine. If this is you, then you definitely have commitment issues. No matter what happened in the past, you need to realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea and if things did not work out, it was probably just not meant to be. Wake up, snap out of your self-created misery and move on. [Read: How to truly fall in love with someone else after a bad breakup]

#8 You settle because you know it won’t last. It does not necessarily mean that commitment-phobes cannot be in relationships. On the contrary, many like the love and companionship that comes with being with someone. The only difference is that people with commitment issues do not see things long term and prefer living by the adage, “We’ll see where it goes. It’s fun for now.”

If you have a tendency to date for fun because you know it will not be long term, sleep around, or are in an open relationship, you probably have commitment issues. Settling into relationships that you know will not last is a definite sign that you cannot commit.

#9 You have qualities that scare off potentials. Whether it is your loud and abrasive behavior, or nature of your job that always takes you on the road, you probably exhibit qualities that scare off possible spouses. Without even knowing it, you build obstacles that discourage potential partners from venturing in any further. This is a way for you to unconsciously build distance between yourself and others. By doing so, you lessen the risk of being intimate with someone.

#10 You always kid yourself. You probably always spew so-called philosophical mumbo jumbo like, “I believe that people have more than one soulmate,” or “With seven billion people in the world, I am sure there is more than just one love for me out there.” All these sayings are just to maintain and justify your single-dom.

You probably believe that you are an absolute catch and that no one really deserves you. Additionally, you believe that your past failed relationships are never your fault but always the other person’s. You have to take a step back and analyze your attitude. Perhaps, the reason why you are saying these things is because you are rationalizing your own commitment issues.

#11 You make excuses. This applies to situations that require you to think about the future. An example is meeting your partner’s parents for the first time. Even the idea terrifies you as you know that meeting the folks means taking a small, albeit next step to solidifying the relationship to a more serious status. You will make up excuses to get out of it, even resorting to falling off the grid for a few days. The same can be said for other scenarios that force you to think about the future. [Read: 16 sure signs you’re not mentally prepared for a serious relationship]

#12 You love the chase. Those with commitment issues get their kicks out of the chase. Once they get the guy or girl that they have been working so hard to get, they lose interest. If you are this way, you are probably a bonafide expert at passionate yet very short relationships. This is because the moment things hint at getting serious, you run for the hills.

At the end of the day, there is no shame in admitting that you have commitment issues. No one can force you to be someone you are not.

[Read: 10 sure signs you’ve got the fear of commitment]

If you see most of these signs of commitment issues in your life, or you are not ready for a serious relationship, then so be it, but remember not to hurt anyone just because you are unsure of what you want in life.

Living the sexy swinging life is unconventional and fun, but there will be complications if you aren’t careful. Here’s how you can avoid them.

The norm states that you shouldn’t be sharing your partner with someone else. However, this unwritten rule has been thwarted, broken, bent and ignored for centuries. So why not embrace a new norm and explore what’s out there?

If your partner is fully on board with it, sleeping with someone else does not make you a dirtbag cheater. Instead, it makes you an open minded individual who isn’t afraid of the power of sex. Many couples nowadays are experimenting with sex and intimacy through threesomes, open relationships and swinging.

The difference between open relationships and swinging

Firstly, do not confuse the two. An open relationship means that both parties consent to their partners engaging in sexual activities with other people. On the other hand, swinging is a lifestyle that embodies partners in committed relationships agreeing to the act of swapping partners with other couples. [Read: 15 open relationship rules for a better love life]

There are a couple of differences within the swinging lifestyle itself, known as a soft swap and a full swap. The former is when couples swap partners and engage in kissing and other sexual acts that do not involve penetration. The latter is when penetration is involved. Do further research to figure out which one works better for the two of you.

Remember that there are many rules when it comes to the swinging lifestyle. Whether you head to a swinging club, sexy swingers event or find a like-minded couple on the internet to get it on with, the most important rule is that swinging should not replace your current sex life.

You need to look at swinging as an added bonus that helps propel your sex life to another level. If the only time you have sex is during your out-on-the-town swinging sessions, then you can safely say that you have a problem with your own relationship. Work on that first before attempting anything else.

How to avoid complications when having sex with another couple

Here are seven swinging tips for you to keep in mind, if you want unconventional sex, minus the drama that comes with it.

#1 Agree to the lifestyle together. When you look at it from an unconventional point of view, sex can be treated and looked at as a hobby. Just like shooting hoops or baking a cake, it is something that you can do alone, with your partner and with others. Just remember that this lifestyle is something that both of you have to agree to. If not, it stands the risk of falling under the category of cheating.

The hardest part of agreeing to the lifestyle together is broaching the subject for the first time. Whether swinging is yours or your partner’s brainchild, there is no denying that the very first conversation that the two of you have about it will be steeped in awkwardness.

Do not be surprised if shame, jealousy and anger make an appearance. Once you get over the initial hurdle, things start getting much easier as both of you are now on board and will work together to source for the perfect swinging experience.

If your partner is hesitant about making the move to this lifestyle, be patient and do not even think about forcing them into it. This will invite resentment, insecurity and defensiveness, making it very difficult for your partner to ever clamber on board. [Read: How to start swinging with your partner]

#2 Lay down ground rules. Another way to preserve your relationship is to set the rules with your partner beforehand. Blurred lines and assumptions make one stunning recipe for disaster. Arguments will be bound to arise once jealousy rears its ugly head. Although you and your partner are open to having sex with other couples, it does not change the fact that you are both human and your emotions will inevitably come into play.

An example of a rule that you can set together is agreeing that neither of you will indulge in a swinging outing without the other. You can also discuss the option of not having any contact with the other couple outside of swinging meet ups. Laying down the law when it comes to using protection, staying together at swingers parties and other related issues should also be discussed. The more ground you cover together, the less likely one or both parties will start an argument and complicate the relationship. [Read: The 10 dos and don’ts of swinging]

#3 Invest in trust. Trust is a very important quality to have, if you want to partake in a swinging lifestyle without complicating your own partnership. Remember that trust is required, even more so if you are living this unconventional lifestyle. If you are the jealous type, start swinging by partaking in a tamer sort of swap, particularly one that involves just a soft swap and see where it takes you from there. Some couples take years before finally agreeing to a full swap, so do not worry if it takes you longer than expected to solidify the trust and go all the way. [Read: How to build trust in your relationship]

#4 Communicate often. Another way to keep your relationship from getting complicated is to communicate often with your spouse. Good communication is perhaps one of the most important things that you need to work on when you enter the world of swinging. Speak incessantly about what the two of you are hoping to get out of swinging. Do not forget to communicate with your lover on the type of couple you would like to experiment with and so on. So long as you are prepared to compromise with your partner, everything will be just fine.

#5 Do not swing with friends. A good way to keep your new lifestyle and relationship with your spouse intact is to never swap partners with friends. Feelings may start developing, jealousy will inevitably come into play and before you know it, a falling out with these friends is bound to happen.

Trust me on this when I say that it is better to keep your friendships and sex life separate. Even better, be classy and keep your swinging lifestyle on the down low. The last thing you want is for the whole neighborhood and their cousins to know what you and your spouse are up to.

#6 Swing with seasoned couples. If you are new to the lifestyle and want to keep things as drama free as possible, consider swinging with seasoned and experienced couples, at least at first. Not only will they show you the ropes, they will also share with you lifestyle tips that they have picked up along the way. Just like starting anything new, it is always best to speak to an expert beforehand to get an idea of what to expect, and how to react when the unexpected crops up.

#7 Bring home the eroticism. Finally, the best way to have sex with other couples without complicating your relationship is to bring home the eroticism and sensuality. Remember that swinging is one of the many tools in life’s toolbox that you can use to keep your sex life fresh and exciting. The whole point of experiencing this unconventional lifestyle is so that you can take home these new experiences with you. Whether you want to relive what you did or try out something new with your partner, ensure that you keep the sexual attraction between the two of you alive and well. [Read: 30 sexy ways to spice up your sex life]

Whether you like watching, being watched, experimenting with props or just getting it on with someone else, swinging lets you do it all. Just remember that your relationship with your spouse is the most important one of all. If one of you gets uncomfortable, talk it through and come to an agreement on what to do next.

It was supposed to be a one night stand, but you’ve developed mutual feelings. Is it okay to date someone you thought you’d only be with for one night?

One night stands are exactly what they are. One random encounter with a stranger, colleague or friend that turns into a steamy night of passion. After that, it’s over. No calls, no texts, no e-mails. The best you can hope for is another random encounter with an awkward hello.

Statistically, men are more likely to initiate one night stands. Women do it as well, but they’re not as vocal about it. The reasons for initiating one night stands may be the same for both genders, but there’s a more obvious stigma against women than there is for men.

Women are expected to want relationships. When they speak up about their need for meaningless sex, people misconstrue it as promiscuity or a plea for attention. God forbid that a woman just might want to let off some steam, but nooo, they’re branded as sluts and are shamed not just by men, but their fellow women as well.

One night stands should not be given that much attention by others who are not involved. After all, it’s an event that happens between two people who had sex one night and never again. Public opinion is a moot point, because it is neither helpful nor necessary. [Read: 16 signs it’s going to be a one night stand]

What is the big deal about one night stands?

The truth is that it shouldn’t be a big deal. It only comes out that way because men are crucified for not wanting a relationship, while women are stigmatized for the very same reason. Sex can be just sex. If a person chooses to do it out of pleasure and not love, they should not be judged for it.

We have the right to use our bodies the way we want to. No matter what decision we make, we must consider the fact that we are adults that have the capacity to make rational decisions.

If it turns out that we didn’t like the outcome, we need to face the consequences of our actions. If it happens that we found a special connection out of it, then that’s where one night stands start to work out for the best.

Is it possible to date your one night stand?

Absolutely! The best part about it is that it’s no longer a one night stand, once you start seeing each other. There would be no need to mention “That One Night,” because every night that you see each other becomes more important than the last.

There are a lot of people who started out as one night stands, and ended up seeing their partner regularly. Some have successfully achieved relationship status, while some chose to upgrade their one night stand into a friends-with-benefits situation.

Why not date your one night stand? If they’re up to your standards, there is nothing holding you back from taking a chance on that person – except when they don’t feel the same way. One night stands are simply another aspect of dating that we need to acknowledge.

Is it easy to date your one night stand?

Before you decide to call that person you slept with a few months ago, you need to consider your motives first. Why do you like that person? Do you see a future with that person? Is it really worth calling someone whom you haven’t heard from in a while? And most importantly, which of you didn’t call the other after you had sex?

You can learn a lot from the answers to these questions. You can find out whether or not the person you slept with is worth asking out. If they never intended to see you again, it doesn’t mean that they’re a bad person. They just understood the mechanics of a one night stand, and decided not to pursue the matter anymore. [Read: 10 worst people to have a one night stand with]

Choosing to date your one night stand is an easy decision to make, but is it the right one? That isn’t even your biggest problem. The fact that you engaged in a one night stand means that there will be an awkward phase before you can truly explore the area of relationships. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to keep it casual]

You already had sex. Now that it’s out of the way, what’s next? The whole dynamics of starting a relationship is thrown for a loop. It can be a good thing, or it can be exciting. It all depends on how you and your possible partner view and react to the situation.

Is it sleazy to date your one night stand?

In my opinion, it’s not. Just because you already had sex doesn’t mean that you’re dirty or unfit for society. Anyone who says otherwise is welcome to his or her own opinion, but people have the right to do whatever they want with their bodies.

Sex can be categorized in many ways. Some are acceptable to society, while some are a little hard to wrap your head around. The idea of a one night stand should not be considered sleazy, but some circumstances can force people to view the situation that way. A one night stand only becomes sleazy when it happens for the wrong reasons. Those reasons are:

#1 Rebound sex. Not only are you messing with your head by engaging in an intimate activity with a random person after a break-up, you are also inadvertently playing with their feelings. It won’t make you feel any better, and letting your ex find out will only make you feel worse. [Read: 13 rebound sex to check if you’re ready for it]

#2 Money. Granted that prostitution is illegal in so many places, it still happens. If you’re using a one night stand as an excuse to get some easy money, being sleazy is the least of your problems.

#3 Pity sex. Just because the guy looks sad and pathetic, does not mean that you need to swoop in with your vagina to save the day. Not only will you regret the decision to sleep with someone you don’t like, you might even give false hope to someone who already has a boatload of self-esteem issues.

#4 Attention. Research suggests that intentional promiscuity is borne out of a deep longing for attention. Having a lot of sex because you like it is normal. Having a lot of sex for validation is unhealthy, and not something you should be proud of. [Read: 16 signs you’re being an attention whore]

One night stands are a part of dating now. They are like land mines. You never know what you stepped on until it’s too late. You can try to avoid them as much as you can, but there is no definite way to determine whether or not there will be a repeat of your night together.

Those who want to be in a relationship would never willingly choose to be a one night stand. Unfortunately, you can’t control your circumstances or how the other person feels. If they don’t want to be with you again, you can’t force them.

[Read: 10 ways to stay friends after you’ve done the dirty]

Despite the stigma, it’s perfectly fine to date your one night stand. Though your relationship will be far from tradition, it will certainly bring out your creative side when you’re learning new ways to get to know each other better.

The thought of having drunken sex on a night out may seem like a lot of fun, but unless you’re careful, you could end up regretting it more than ever!

The great photographer, Rennie Ellis, once said of alcohol, “[It] has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship.”

And how very true those words are. Alcohol has acted as a social lubricant since prehistoric times – the proverbial Dutch courage that gives us that extra step in our ability to interact confidently and competently with others. However, once that step becomes a sprint, and drunkenness ensues, then disastrous consequences may be expected. Nowhere more so than in the bedroom.

A sip too far

Alcohol relieves us of our social inhibitions, to an extent directly proportionate to the amount imbibed. What makes us interesting and erudite after a mere breath of the stuff turns us into consummate bores, lechers, and recalcitrants, if we fail to monitor our intake to the appropriate levels.

Even beginning to consider taking such booze-fueled behavior into the bedroom is a recipe practically guaranteed to lead to disaster.

Why alcohol and sex don’t mix

You may think that setting your inhibitions aside with a few drinks will lead you to a journey of eye-opening sexual exploration, but you’re more likely to tumble through a series of sexual disasters.

#1 Doing a Corleone. So-called after the first Godfather movie, where an adversary makes the mistake of getting on the wrong side of Don Corleone, and ends up with – yes, you guessed it – a horse’s head on the pillow! Whatever term you’d prefer to use, the fact is that alcohol has a frightening propensity to elevate those who’d look at home in a Boris Karloff film to supermodel status.

However, once the booze wears off and you wake up looking that gift horse squarely in the mouth, an arm trapped underneath them that you are seriously considering chewing off rather than disturbing them, you will swiftly regret those last few drinks.

And if you’re really unlucky, then one of your more sober friends will have committed the whole act of indecency to memory and plague you with the incident for the rest of your born days! [Read: 10 worst people you can have a one night stand with]

#2 Jumping the gun. You may have pulled an absolute cracker, on the other hand, with a guy or gal that is exactly the kind that you go for and is exactly the kind that you could see yourself settling down with. However, on the back of a dirty drunken soiree – and let’s face it, to go home with someone as drunk as you were, they must have been in a fairly similar state themselves – you may have just ruined any chance you had of taking it any further.

Such situations are the kind most people try to guiltily put behind them and swear never to do again. They rarely provide the basis for a long-lasting and happy relationship. [Read: Should you give in and have sex on the first date?]

#3 Your flexible friend. Nope, not a credit card, and one definitely for the guys, describing the much-hated and feared brewer’s droop. For those not in the know, I am, of course, describing alcohol-related impotence and the effect it has on the male genitalia.

Nothing is worse than building up to the main event and having what was supposed to be a prime joint of beef replaced by what can only be described as a wet lettuce. Bye-bye, dignity! [Read: How to keep your erection up for longer effortlessly]

#4 You snooze, you lose. Another much-unwanted side effect of alcohol, but altogether too common, is the drowsiness. No matter how much you are raring to go, as soon as you get into a comfortable position, the booze will taunt your body into submission, and you’ll be nodding off before you can get the condom out of your pocket.

Not something that a partner in crime wants to see when they’re ready for the deed – or even worse, in the middle of it. Try and live that one down if you can!

#5 Painting the walls. Some of us have stronger constitutions than others. Some can throw it down their necks all night long with barely a hiccup, whereas others do get quite ill on an extended drinking session. And let’s face it, few things are more likely to provide humiliation and disgust than spraying your own or your intended prey’s apartment with the multi-colored splendor of booze-laden vomit. Not really anyone’s idea of successful foreplay.

#6 Forcing the issue. This is quite a serious consideration, especially for the guys out there, but having sex with someone who is drunk, even if you’re in the same condition, can constitute statutory rape in many parts of the world. Humiliation is one thing, but a criminal record is quite something else. Best to leave out those last few drinks, and make a decision that won’t land you in quite so much trouble.

#7 Fumbling thumbs. Remember when you were a teenager and bras seemed to possess a complexity not too dissimilar to that found in quantum physics and aeronautic engineering? Well, multiply that by ten, and there you have the difficulty that removing them presents when you are intoxicated.

Throw pantyhose and tight-fitting dresses into the mix, and you may as well try and build a spacecraft than get her naked! And fumbling around her like an apprentice mechanic isn’t likely to score many brownie points.

#8 One drop or two. So you manage to find your way to one of your respective homes from which to enact the dirty deed, navigate the clothing removal situation with aplomb, successfully keep your lunch down, and are facing the prospect of actually having sex, when you think to yourself, I could really do with going to the John first. So you do. Fair enough. Better to be comfortable during the act than not.

But if this happens a second time, then a third, fourth, fifth, etc., you’re really going to spoil the mood. And, unfortunately, alcohol is a diuretic, and will have exactly this effect. So unless you have a bladder the size of a butcher’s bucket or you’ve successfully managed to squeeze a few pints out beforehand, the outlook for a fun time between the sheets is not a good one.

#9 Consider this. And you will if you’re drunk enough. Inhibitions go out the window, and you’ll consider anything. Which is not always a bad thing, but if you wake up next to last night’s pickings dressed in a leather gimp mask and holding a rather perturbed looking chicken, then you’re probably going to wish you’d stayed in and watched TV instead. [Read: 10 dirty drinking games for naughty guys and girls]

#10 Ex-sex. That person that you’ve made a career out of hating for the past six months, that dreadful individual you’ve wished all manner of evils upon for having the audacity to ditch you, the focus of all your vitriol and sorrow, is the last person you ever want to see beside you in the morning.

But alcohol is not a partisan beast, and what may seem like the worst idea in the world when sober can seem like the best idea when drunk – and if your ex turns up during the evening, then don’t expect to be going home alone. Do expect, however, to be twice as distraught in the morning when you realize what you’ve done! [Read: 10 times where breakup sex actually works out]

So, think twice the next time you’re on a night out before deciding to take the drunken plunge. It may well turn out to be a mistake you will never forget.

Is falling in love a natural phenomenon, or can it be simulated by using manipulative tactics to lure someone you like?

When it comes to love, there are no limits to what a person can do just to achieve it. Some are even capable of taking extreme measures just to make this happen. One of those is through manipulation – a deceptive form of coercion. But is it really possible? Can a person actually manipulate someone to fall for them?

We’ll answer all those questions and finally get to the root of whether or not manipulating someone to fall for you is actually achievable.

What is manipulation?

Manipulation – or psychological manipulation – is defined as a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or abusive tactics.

When you look at it that way, you won’t be able to find anything positive about the definition – unless its benefits are in your favor.

In terms of relationships, manipulation comes in many forms. People in relationships can use manipulation to acquire gifts, dominance, sex, affection, etc. There are many ways in which they can manipulate their partner, and those methods can range from mildly amusing to downright disturbing.

But the real question is whether or not someone can manipulate their partner into falling in love with them. [Read: 16 reasons why people find it so easy to manipulate you and take you for granted]

How do people manipulate their partners?

They say that manipulation is a regular occurrence within relationships. Women are usually the ones being blamed for it, but men are just as guilty. It’s hardly plausible that a person would enter a relationship with the intention to manipulate their partner, but it does happen.

The manipulation part is just disguised as a need for control or to acquire something from their partner. Whether it’s a physical or emotional need, a person might resort to sneaky ways to get what they want – even with the best intentions in mind. Some people don’t even notice that they’re doing it, but it happens and it probably won’t stop anytime soon. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]

Just to give you an idea of how people in relationships manipulate each other, here are some examples:

#1 The guilt trip. A person can guilt their partner into doing what they want by bringing back a past transgression or pointing out something that they did for their partner.

#2 The passive aggression. These can come in the form of a mild tantrum, the silent treatment, or even a bitchy *not necessarily female-centric* disposition.

#3 The reverse psychology. Everything’s fine. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. *Nothing is fine. We’re not okay. You better do the opposite of what I’m saying, or else you’re dead.*

#4 The direct approach. What’s more effective than an actual request? The difference between a normal one and a manipulative one, however, is that you can’t say no to the latter. Ever.

#5 The relay. You’ll hear about their request from their best friend. Or their mother. Or your neighbor. Or your dog. [Read: 12 signs you’re being manipulated by your lover]

Do any of these methods work when it comes to falling in love?

Honestly, no. Those are just basic manipulation tactics done by people to get what they want out of relationships. None of those would be effective in making someone fall in love with you. It’s mostly because love is an emotion borne out of free will.

You can’t make someone fall in love, just because you’re wiling it to happen. It’s your partner’s prerogative and decision to do so.

Should you manipulate someone into falling in love with you?

Let’s call a spade a spade, and admit that you’re looking for a way to make someone fall in love with you. Ethically speaking, you should not manipulate a person to fall in love with you because, a) it’s wrong, and b) there is no empirical proof to justify that it is possible.

Admittedly, you can measure a person’s hormone levels and brain activities when they are allegedly in love, but who’s to say that it’s actually love? Maybe it’s just horniness, intense attraction, or even the adrenaline rush that comes when a person is faced with a challenge.

We admire your determination, but there are some things that you need to consider before trying to manipulate anyone into anything. First, you need to ask yourself these questions:

#1 Do you want a person to genuinely like you, or are you fine with orchestrating their attraction towards you?

#2 Are you trying to make them like you because you feel that their attention will validate your worth?

#3 Is this person the one that you’re looking for, or are you just settling?

#4 Will being in this relationship make you a better person?

#5 Will you be hurting other people in the process?

Once you’ve seriously thought about the implications of influencing someone’s decisions or feelings, it might make you think twice about trying to manipulate someone. You cannot play with other people’s feelings because it can affect a person deeply, especially if it damages one’s psyche.

Love is a very powerful emotion, and it cannot be taken lightly. Before you decide to influence someone’s way of thinking, you better be prepared to face the responsibilities, as well as the consequences.

How do you manipulate someone to fall in love with you?

For those of you who won’t back down without an answer, yes, it is TECHNICALLY possible to manipulate someone into falling in love with you. Or at least being more attracted to you.

Science says so. Several studies attest that it is possible to influence certain variables in order to make someone like you, but not necessarily fall in love with you.

#1 The closer you are, the harder they fall. A study showed that 54% of the couples who applied for marriage licenses lived near each other when they first started dating. With that in mind, you can choose to move to your crush’s district or stalk them. We recommend neither. The best thing you can do is ask them out as many times as sanity permits. [Read: 9 sneaky ways to get a guy to ask you out]

#2 Love thyself. Self-confident people are more likely to attract intimate relationships. Insecure people rarely achieve any sense of intimacy with the people they’re dating, thus making them harder to fall in love with.

#3 Opposites do not attract. People who are more alike tend to end up in loving relationships that progress to marriage. Most people are inclined to choose partners who are like them in terms of personality, background, interests, etc. Either date yourself, or find a version of yourself out there or as close to it as possible.

#4 Get them hot and bothered. Arousal is one of the key components to getting someone to like you. We’re not just talking about revving up your sex appeal. Emotional arousal comes in many forms, whether it is anger, sadness, happiness, excitement, etc. When you’re placed in an environment with a person, as you both experience emotional arousal, you are more likely to fall in love with each other. [Read: 10 flirty ways to build up the emotional tension]

#5 Skin deep. Sorry, everybody. Physical appearances matter. You can’t rely on personality alone. It’s science! But it doesn’t mean that you need to look like a model in order to make someone like you. Just improve what’s already there, and work with it. Someone’s bound to have you as their type, so just be the best you that you can be. [Read: 13 physical attraction tips to look way hotter effortlessly in no time]

Manipulation doesn’t seem so bad when you’re doing it to improve your chances, rather than trying to control someone’s emotions. Just remember that you can’t fake your personality, your sense of style or your values. You need to find someone whom you click with, so that you won’t need to MAKE them fall in love with you.

It will happen in its own time. While you’re waiting, why don’t you go and freshen up a little, and see what else the world has to offer?

[Read: The secret guide to manipulatively attract men in a way they can’t resist]

Manipulating someone to fall in love with you can seem like the easy route to relationship success. But keep in mind that when you’re the one stage-managing your partner’s attraction, you’ll have to keep the ruse up in the hope that they’ll eventually be in too deep to be mad at you for manipulating them.

Was there a time when you desperately needed to release some sexual tension, but no one was there to help you? That’s what a backup booty call is for.

The backup booty call is someone whom you can readily call when you’re feeling frisky and have no other options. It’s different from the f*ck buddy, whom you frequently sleep with. The backup booty call is that one person whom you slept with and can always sleep with again, if need be.

You only call them when it’s necessary, like if you’re undergoing a dry spell or if you feel really horny. You don’t maintain a relationship with them. They’re just the person you call when there’s no one else around.

I know it sounds mean, but look at the bigger picture. They’re getting just as much as you are, and they don’t have to worry about hurting your feelings. They’re called the backup because they are the least attractive prospect for sex on your roster. They don’t have to suck at sex, but they’re not on the level of the people you sleep with on a regular basis.

Bear in mind that you should never tell this person that they are a backup booty call. That’s just plain mean. Besides, with the frequency of your calls, they probably know what’s up anyway. [Read: How to make a sexy and successful booty call]

Why should you get a backup booty call?

We can all agree that sex – especially good sex… scratch that, great sex – is the best thing on the planet. People sleep together because it’s fun, and it makes us feel really good. When the time comes when we don’t have access to it, we don’t really care that much. But wouldn’t it be better if there was someone out there whom you can call anytime you needed a little lovin’?

Having a backup booty call allows you to feel secure, at least, sexually. You can call them whenever you need to, and they’re the most likely person to agree to have sex with you. That sounds pretty sad, but we’re talking about the backup booty call, not a f*ck buddy. You’re already at your wit’s end. No one else is available. What else can you do, right?

With a backup booty call, you won’t have to worry about feeling like humping the couch when your hormones are raging. Don’t get us wrong. Engaging in casual sex can be emotionally taxing for some people. If, however, you can handle it and are not hurting anybody, then why not? [Read: The step-by-step guide to turning a friend into a f*ck buddy]

The benefits of the backup booty call

If you have a backup booty call, you won’t have to worry about going out to find someone new to sleep with. There’s less risk of becoming a skin suit and going through the constant emotional roller coaster of first dates.

The backup booty call can disappear at any time, but you can rest assured that they will be there as long as they’re single. They’re okay with you seeing other people, only if you’re okay with them doing so as well. This has to be established before anything else. Sometimes, you don’t need to talk about it, but it’s better to know what’s up rather than get blindsided by misunderstandings.

The sex isn’t that frequent, so there’s less risk of developing feelings as well. You know how hormones can be, foisting all those artificial feelings of love and affection on you. Ugh.

Kidding aside, having sex can open you up to creating an emotional bond. If you can control your feelings and know where you stand, you don’t have to worry about getting hurt, at least until you realize that you can’t control it anymore.

The best part about having a backup booty call is that they’re still technically your friend. They will have your back, not just sexually, but also when you need a helping hand. F*ck buddies are more likely to avoid any lasting connections, but the backup booty call will stay as long as it’s okay. [Read: How to initiate a friends with benefits relationship]

How do you get a backup booty call?

If you don’t have a backup booty call right now, the only way to get one is to make an arrangement with someone you trust. Make sure that this person is single and not interested in any emotional entanglements. It’s better if your backup is a friend that you really trust. Just make sure it’s a friend you won’t mind losing if things get rough.

You can also commission a coworker or a classmate whom you share a mutual attraction with. Just make sure that they know what they’re getting into. You wouldn’t want to end up in a one-sided relationship. You could end up hurting someone if they don’t know what’s going on.

You don’t have to tell them how often it’s going to happen. You just have to tell them that you’re open to sleeping with them whenever you two are available. In order to keep the backup booty call consistent, you have to continue to communicate with them, even if it’s just once every few weeks.

Don’t go out on dates. You can go out for drinks, but only if you’re about to sleep together. These rules are put in place so that neither of you will get the wrong idea. You can still sleep with other people, but make sure that your backup knows it and that you’re being safe. If they don’t agree to this sort of arrangement, don’t force them. [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules to remember]

The parameters of the backup booty call

In order to differentiate between the backup booty call and the f*ck buddy, here are some points to consider when looking for the backup booty call.

#1 Must be emotionally unavailable or not interested in a relationship. That’s super easy to find. [Read: 5 clear signs of an emotionally unavailable man]

#2 Must be someone you know very well. A friend, a coworker, or a classmate. Easy to find and easy to call.

#3 Must be good at sex, but no so much that you’d crave it. You’ll know it when you do it. But if they’re really that good, then you may be tempted to upgrade them to f*ck buddy status.

#4 Must be nice. You want someone who will treat you right, even if you’re just having sex.

#5 Must be someone trustworthy. You don’t want someone who has a criminal record or less than savory dating practices.

#6 Must be single. Duh. Don’t risk being the other man or woman all for the sake of having a backup booty call.

#7 Must have a life. Or else you’ll end up coddling them whenever they need you.

#8 Must not ask questions. That just complicates things.

#9 Must be present in your life. Don’t allow that person to disappear into the ether. Say hi once in a while.

#10 Must accept their fate. They shouldn’t be resentful of the fact that you’re sleeping with other people. That’s just how life goes.

#11 Must not be an ex. Yes, we know how easy it is to commission an ex to be your backup booty call, but you’ll just end up asking for trouble. [Read: Getting back with an ex for sex: Okay or no-go?]

The moral implications of the backup booty call

Some might say that you’re just using this person to sate your needs, and we’ll admit that it’s true. That is why we put a huge emphasis on clarity and transparency. Do not lead them on. Don’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do.

You’re not a bad person for wanting sex. You become a bad person when you stop caring about how others feel. Sex is great, so you don’t have to deny yourself that pleasure. Just make sure that you’re giving just as much as you’re taking. That way, everyone’s happy.

[Read: 10 booty call moves that you might mistake for true love]

Treat your backup booty call right, and you’ll never have to look for sex again – unless they get married or whatever.

Are you sleeping with a rookie friends-with-benefits buddy? Here are 14 things to keep in mind while discussing details with a FWB newbie.

Being friends with benefits can be complicated, especially for someone who has never tried it. Yes, it can be fun, but there are still risks involved. You are not just taking a risk with your body. You are also putting your feelings and emotions on the line. After all, casual sex opens you up to diseases of the genitalia, as well as the proverbial heart.

That is why you need to have at least some knowledge of what you’re getting yourself into. You can’t go into it blind, or else you might end up with more than just scratches on your ego.

When you meet someone who wants to engage in casual sex, but has never tried it before whereas you have, you are automatically placed in the position of the sexual advisor. This means that you will teach them what to do and what not to do, depending on your circumstances. You might find yourself sleeping with an old friend, a co-worker, a classmate, or even a stranger.

No matter what your previous relationship with this person was, things will change once you get into each other’s pants. Since you’ve been down that road before, you should be magnanimous enough to tell them what’s up and what’s not.

Obviously, this is not what you signed up for. However, it’s exactly what you are in for. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to get things started]

Why do I have to teach this person how to be a FWB?

Having casual sex does not excuse you from being a compassionate human being. This person obviously wants to explore something new – something that you’ve already been through.

Would it be so bad to show them the ropes and help them avoid getting hurt? If you’ve been in their shoes before, you know what it was like. You should be proud that you have the necessary know-how to help other people get through this dangerously exciting phase in their life.

If you can’t wrap your head around it, let us put it this way. If you don’t teach this person how to be a proper friend with benefits, you might end up with a guilty conscience, a love-struck sex partner, or worse, an STD.

None of those sound very appealing, so it would be in your best interest to give them a few pointers on how to go about sleeping with you on a casual basis. [Read: The guide to starting an FWB relationship with someone]

Do I have to teach them how to have sex?

It depends on whether you need to or not. Some people who are first-time FWBs might have been sleeping with their significant others for years before they met you. They probably know a thing or two that you don’t, so please don’t assume that this is your chance to play Madame Vandersexxx or Christian Grey.

When you’re in a relationship that revolves around sex, it’s understandable that you will communicate your needs with each other. You don’t need to teach them if they already know how to please you, but it is better if you talk about what you’ve done and wish to do from here on out. Who knows? You might learn something new from them, too. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas that are worth trying at least once]

How to discuss the parameters of the FWB relationship

If you’re uncomfortable about enforcing rules and regulations about this casual relationship, here are a few tips that might help you ease into that conversation gently.

#1 Keep it casual. Don’t think of it as a teacher-student situation. Just go about it as if you were giving a friend some sage advice.

#2 Don’t lay it all out in one sitting. Turning the discussion into a whole seminar can turn your partner off the idea of sleeping with you. Tell them when the need arises, but don’t let the time to discuss stew for months. [Read: Starting a no strings attached relationship – laying the groundwork]

#3 Most important points. Before you sleep together, you need to discuss these first: birth control, sexual history, and exclusivity. You cannot start the relationship without establishing the rules for these physical aspects.

#4 Create an FWB honesty policy. Agree to be honest with each other about your setup because having assumptions in this type of relationship is very dangerous. You don’t need to be honest about what you do away from each other, but you do have to tell each other if you plan on sleeping with other people or if you’re developing any romantic feelings. [Read: 9 brilliant tips for having a casual relationship without any mess]

So what do you need to teach your new FWB?

Just to give you an idea on what you should cover, here is a list of what to discuss with a newbie FWB:

#1 Sexual history. You don’t need to exchange the numbers of how many people you’ve slept with, but you should give each other a general idea of what you’ve been doing for the past year.

#2 Get yourself checked. If you don’t trust this person, it’s best to get checked for STIs. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself. You guys need to get over it because you will be having lots of sex with each other in the very near future. [Read: 10 ways to subtly ask your partner to get tested]

#3 Birth control. As tempting as it is to go at it raw, you should always consider the consequences of not using or using *in case medication is needed* birth control. Pregnancy and STIs are no joke. If you and your partner are thinking twice about using anything for protection, just remember that it’s better to be 90% covered than not at all. [Read: The different types of condoms and its effects on your sex life]

#4 Exclusivity parameters. Before anything else, you need to establish whether or not you will be sleeping with other people on a regular basis. You and your partner can decide to sleep with each other exclusively and promise to inform one another once that rule needs to change.

#5 Communication frequency. If you’re old friends and have been communicating constantly, it’s not necessary to change anything with the way you talk to each other. Just make sure that you’re open and honest about your feelings on the matter. As for strangers and casual acquaintances, it would be better to keep the conversations at a minimum – like once or twice a week. This is so you won’t get confused about your roles as FWBs. [Read: 10 worst people to have a one night stand with]

#6 Be very honest and transparent about your intentions. Some people go into FWB relationships hoping that one day their partner might develop feelings for them. If that’s not what you’re into, make that very clear.

#7 Roles and responsibilities. Your main job is to get each other off whenever you have the time. If it goes beyond that, the situation might develop into something that’s not suitable for either of you. Giving gifts, going on regular dates, and being emotionally available are big no-no’s. Remember: YOU ARE NOT DATING. [Read: 13 rebound sex questions to know if you’re really ready for a FWB]

#8 Warning bells. Warning bells include warm fuzzy feelings, jealousy, and a need to express your love for your FWB. When any of those things start to happen, you better regroup and think carefully about what you should do next.

#9 Feeling a certain way. If you or your partner starts to develop feelings, you’re basically screwed. The best thing you should do, in case this happens, is to talk it out or bail. We recommend discussing it and reaching a plausible decision to stop being f*ck buddies or start dating like regular people. Whatever the final decision is, just remember that you should do what makes you happy.

#10 Breakups. The rules about breaking up with an FWB are pretty unclear, seeing as that no one actually does it on an official basis. People just stop sleeping together and fade away from each other’s lives. If you want to cover all your bases, you can still opt to discuss it with your partner, so you can say goodbye properly. [Read: The right way to break up with a friend with benefits]

Guiding someone to become a casual fling seems surreal, right? But it is necessary, especially if you’re aware of the things that could manifest out of an irresponsible foray into casual sex.

[Read: The 25 most important rules of being friends with benefits that everyone’s got to follow]

Don’t be ashamed of having to tell your partner what to do and what not to do as an FWB. They’ll definitely be grateful that you taught them how to be a good partner and friend with benefits.

Original article by LovePanky.com: 14 Things You Have to Teach Your Newbie FWB Partner.

Catfishing is more real than you can imagine. And if you want to avoid a long drawn out game of lies and deceit online, keep these 13 tips in mind.

It’s every online dater’s worst nightmare. You spend months talking to a person that you feel like you connect with on a variety of levels. You devote hours to this person, divulge personal and even painful information, and they still accept you. You think about them all the time and finally feel like you could fall in love with someone you’ve never actually met face to face.

The next thing you know, they start acting distant or pushing you away when you bring up meeting in person or talking via video calling. Ultimately, you are crushed and utterly deceived when the entire thing blows up in your face as you realize that the person you thought you knew was actually not even the same person they had portrayed themselves to be.

And then it dawns on you… You just got catfished!

What is catfishing?

Simply put, being catfished is like being deceived online. But the person lying to you isn’t just lying about trivial stuff like what they look like or where they live. It’s like they’re actually living a second life online that’s markedly different from the one they’re living in real life.

The person you’ve been slowly falling in love with online may present themselves to be a charming twentysomething who works for a hip little record store, when in fact they’re actually an incredibly insecure fortysomething who’s just looking to get close enough to you to get you to send them nude photos! Creepy, right? [Read: 6 big things you need to know before stripping for a photo]

What it’s like to be catfished

Getting catfished sucks, but here are a few stellar pieces of advice, so you can hopefully avoid getting caught in a similar situation in the future.

#1 You may be honest, but not everyone else is. It’s all too easy to be naïve and believe that being a good person who values honesty will also attract those types of people to you. While it’s not always a flaw to want to see the best in others, it’s also the quickest way to overlook red flags and end up disappointed.

Being catfished by a person who you believed to be honest is a slap of reality that serves as a reminder that not everyone will be honest with you just because you’re honest with them. [Read: 9 ways to avoid online creeps and their creepy ways]

#2 Don’t judge a book by its cover. In today’s world of Photoshop, Instagram filters, Camera 360, and all kinds of editing programs that can manipulate images, it’s really not so difficult for someone to portray an overly flattering image to the online world. A catfish will only show you what they want you to believe, not who they really are.

Online dating sites are filled with profiles of blurry head shots or faceless pics of 6 packs or bikini bods. Some pictures are actually stolen from other real people’s profiles, and these are the worst kinds of deception. If the guy or girl you’re talking to looks like they walked right out of GQ or a Victoria’s Secret catalog, they actually might be fake. [Read: 13 easy ways to spot liars in an online dtaing website]

#3 Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. The chances of this person being your soulmate could be real or not. The great thing about online dating is that you don’t have to commit to any one person before getting to know them, both online and in person.

#4 Watch out for the red flags. Only talking at certain times of the day, only body pics, fewer pictures, reluctance to engage in video chat or talk on the phone, hesitance to meet in person but seemingly interested… These are some of the biggest red flags of the online dating world. If the person you’re talking to does any of these things, bail out as soon as you can!

#5 Do your research. In the age of technology, there is bound to be something about this person that can validate whether they are real or not. Search for their name online, and try to see if they exist elsewhere. If you can’t find a legitimate-looking profile of them on sites like LinkedIn, Facebook, or even Twitter, they’re probably fakers. [Read: 30 really great tips to help you win at online dating]

#6 Ask the right questions. Dating, whether online or in real life, requires you to at least get to know a little about the person you’re talking to. Ask them questions about what they do, what they’re into, what kinds of people they hang out with, or where they like to hang out.

If their answers are inconsistent, you’re getting catfished. If they answer with all too generic responses, they’re either incredibly boring or you’re getting catfished. Lastly, if their responses are way too fantastical, they’re probably nuts and you’re most likely getting catfished. Any fishy answers will tell you that you’ve got a catfish in your hands.

#7 Don’t rely on messaging alone. It’s best to get them to talk on the phone and have a video chat before spending months speaking to someone who could be hiding behind a false image. Skype is the preferred method of being able to see the person you are talking to.

If they decline, you can expect that something fishy is going on, regardless of what excuse they might give you. [Confession: I used a dating site without a photo and this happened!]

#8 Catch them off guard. You can choose to call them randomly while you’re chatting to see if they pick up. If they don’t, then that’s a huge red flag. If they pass the random call test, ask them for a photo holding a specific item or doing something specific. This will prove whether or not the photos they send you are genuine, and not just photos of random people they found online.

#9 Appeal to their morality. This is a long shot, particularly if the person you’re talking to is a pro at deception. But either way, honesty is still the best policy – it’s worth a try to make them feel guilty for lying or deceiving you. You can mention that you hope they’re the real deal, because you’ve been nothing but honest this whole time. [Read: 13 annoying and inconvenient online dating problems you have to face]

#10 People who catfish are usually insecure. Many people who catfish do so because they’re not confident with who they really are. This is why they choose to make up a fantasy life that they can live while talking to the people they’re deceiving. Most people who catfish aren’t really out to harm anyone, so it’s best to just have sympathy for them and ignore them afterwards.

However, be wary of those who try to ask for money or favors from you. These people will try to appeal to your naivety to take advantage of you. As a general rule, never ever give out money to people you’ve only just met online. [Read: 13 reasons why online dating may not be for you!]

#11 Always keep your safety in mind. Whatever you refuse to reveal to a person you run into on the street should be the same information you refuse to divulge to anyone you’re talking to online. You never know what they might do with information such as where you live, where you work, who your friends are, and other information that they can use to stalk you, or worse, harm you. [Read: 14 important do’s and don’ts of online dating]

#12 If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. If you find yourself talking to someone who fits every criteria of your dream partner, you should be jumping for joy, right? WRONG. The person catfishing you is trying to gain your trust by being the partner of your dreams. Don’t fall for it! Instead, ensure that this person is who they portray themselves to be before you go off and plan your life together. [Read: Why online dating can be more horrifying than a horror film]

#13 Catching catfish gets easier after a while. While I don’t wish for you to find more catfish to practice your sleuthing skills on, it’s always good to know that the more deceptive people you run into, the better you become at weeding them out. After a while, you’ll only spend your time and energy on people who are genuine with you.

[Read: How to catch a catfish – online fakers revealed]

Getting catfished is just one of the many not-so-fun experiences you’ll have when you try online dating. But once you learn how to spot and avoid them, your online dating experience will be much more rewarding!

Original article by LovePanky.com: Catfishing is Real! 13 Tips to Recognize it Instantly.

It may seem like an innocent good time, but can your online flirting habits be crossing the line when it comes to your real love life?

We’ve all done it. And by “it” I mean we’ve all fallen into the trap of flirting with people via the internet. And for those of us with a significant other sitting next to us on the couch munching on Cheetos and flipping through every sports channel there is, online flirting can become a bit of a problem if you take it from innocent to something more.

It can happen to everyone. Whether you’re just replying to a silly comment on Facebook and adding that little wink emoji, or if you’re actually in the online dating community *Tinder?* just for the fun of it, online flirting can cause many problems in your real relationship.

One little comment taken too far can be the end of something real. Who would want that? I know I didn’t when a simple wink face turned into a full-blown argument and eventually the demise of one of my relationships… yikes! [Read: Emotional cheating and 10 bad things it can do for you]

Is online flirting really cheating – How do you know if you’ve crossed the line?

I’ve been in a relationship or two that have gone south because of too much online flirting. Not only have I been the victim, but I’ve also been one to flirt quite a bit as well. Had I known the warning signs about what is considered too far and what’s not, maybe I could have saved the relationships.

Take it from someone who has been on both ends of this controversial subject and read all the tips I’ve shared about online flirting and how to know if you’ve made the mistake of taking it too far.

12 steps to determine whether or not your online flirting is actually cheating

There a number of ways to know for sure whether or not you flirting online is actually a form of cheating. But most of all, you need to remember that cheating doesn’t have to mean that you’re engaging in physical intimacy with someone other than your committed partner. It can even just be purely emotional – and that’s where cheating via the internet can be applied. [Read: 10 annoying partner habits that can drive anyone to cheat]

#1 You are continuously flirting with the same person. When you’re flirting with the same person day in and day out when you’re already in a committed relationship, then I would say it’s a form of cheating. You shouldn’t be flirting with the same person over and over again if you’re happily hooked to someone already. It may not be the worst form of cheating, but it definitely should be considered as one.

#2 You feel the need to hide it from your significant other. Nothing spells out “cheating” more than feeling guilty for interacting with someone. Now don’t get me wrong, you can occasionally get away with sending a flirty comment here and there, but if it gets to the point that you’re stuffing your phone in your pocket the second your partner gets in the room, then you’ve got a problem.

Not to mention if you’re lying about it as well! When your partner asks who you’re talking to and you lock your phone and say, “Oh, umm… just no one? Er – I mean my sister,” then you’re cheating on them whether you want to accept it or not. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and your partner]

#3 When you would rather communicate this way with other people than you would your lover. If you’re flirting more with other people – specifically the same person frequently – and you would rather do that than actually flirt with your own partner, then it’s cheating.

#4 If your flirting leads to meetings *or the discussion of meeting in person*. This is really obvious cheating. If you’re flirting and chatting enough with someone else to warrant an actual meeting, then you’re cheating. Especially if your significant other is unaware of what’s going on. You don’t have to be getting intimate with that other person for it to be considered unfaithful.

Cue the guilt and lies, you cheater! *Disclaimer: you can be friends with people and spend time with them just fine. But when flirting is the #1 way you communicate with them, then there’s more than just friendliness going on.* [Read: 15 really obvious signs of flirting between a guy and a girl]

#5 If you develop feelings for the people you flirt with. Or rather, just a person you’re flirting with. When innocent flirting turns into real feelings for them, you are cheating on your current partner. You are not being fully faithful and committed to them in the way you should be.

#6 If the flirting leads to a loss of feelings for your partner. You may say, “So what? I’ve never even met them. It’s just online.” But if you’re losing feelings for your current special someone because of all of the flirting you’re doing online, you’re inadvertently cheating on them! [Read: When is flirting cheating when you’re in a relationship]

Okay, okay, I get what cheating is, but when does my flirting actually cross that line?

Flirting is probably harmless most of the time, but there is a line that can be crossed and sometimes you can’t get back over it. If your flirting is accompanied with any of the following, you may be crossing that fine line.

#1 It’s very frequent. Occasional flirting is fine. You can make a comment or like someone’s half-naked picture every now and then, and it’s completely okay. But when you’re flirting with everybody that’s out there on the internet all the time, you may be crossing a line that your partner won’t be too comfortable with.

#2 When you get excited to get back to your phone or computer so you can flirt. You may not notice it right away, but if you’re crossing the line then you are probably always excited to hit up Facebook or Tinder. I’m sure your significant other would NOT be happy with your super excitement over flirting with other people.

#3 When you go out of your way to make it happen. Casual and innocent flirting is not something people go looking for. It just happens naturally and you reply flirtingly. But if you’re seeking out opportunities to flirt with someone online, you’re just about to cross that very fine line between innocence and potential cheating. [Read: 13 lusty signs you’re starting to get sexually attracted to someone else]

#4 If your partner notices a difference in your behavior towards them. This one is pretty big and basically means you’re standing ON the line. When your lover notices your behavior has changed – and you know it’s because of your fun flirting online – then you may as well just take a step further because you’re almost over that line.

#5 If you silently defend it. Does anyone else have mental conversations arguing with themselves? No? Just me? Okay… but honestly, if you are feeling the need to justify your flirting – even to yourself – then you recognize the line and that you may be crossing it. Innocent flirting doesn’t make you feel guilty. [Read: Love triangles and its confusing complications]

#6 If your flirting is leading to any other emotions. BEEP BEEP BEEP. Cue the red lights and loud sirens because you have officially crossed the line from innocent flirting to cheating. When casual flirting become frequent and you develop feelings for the other person, then you have definitely crossed that invisible, yet very prominent, line and are in for some trouble.

Casual and innocent flirting online is not only really fun, but it can be healthy for a relationship as well. But if you’re investing too much time into it and not enough into your special someone, then you’ve got a problem.

[Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably never noticed]

As exciting as the idea of flirting online with someone else may seem, use these 12 signs and ask yourself if you’re really willing to jeopardize your real relationship for an imaginary online fling thing.

Original article by LovePanky.com: Online Flirting – Are You Cheating without Realizing It?.

Got to the stage where moving in is on the cards, but only one of you seems to have a say? Read on to identify the signs of a sneaky move in.

Amongst all the great and famous chronological markers of a relationship – first date, meeting the parents, getting engaged – probably the most significant, excepting marriage, is that of moving in together. It is also one of the most stressful of these relationship markers, and can lead to significant tensions in the time immediately surrounding the event.

It is especially stressful when one half of the relationship isn’t even aware of the move, and continues not to be aware until they look bemusedly around themselves one day and realize it’s already happened.

The colonization

Some people have a very nasty habit where, if they don’t get their way through fair means, they try to get them through foul means instead. Such a person is the relationship colonist. This man or woman may have put the suggestion to their partner in subtle or plain terms over the whole question of moving in together, and received a response far less warm than they were hoping for.

However, rather than showing the required degree of patience, the relationship colonist will not take no for an answer and put immediate plans in place to be exactly where they want to be – i.e. living in your house. Obviously, they can’t kick the door down and take over the other half of the bed by gunpoint, so they do it sneakily instead, moving in bit by bit. So subtly, in fact, that you may not even notice that it’s happening. [Read: 12 subtle signs you’re being manipulated by your lover]

10 signs your partner is sneakily trying to move in with you

If you have a sneaking suspicion that your partner is the type to try and weasel their way into your home, then you need to look out for the following list of ten colonization indicators and start raising the barricades!

#1 Stuck like glue. The first and most obvious sign that your home is being colonized is really quite an obvious one – they’re never anywhere else. Any excuse to be with you, snuggled up to you in your abode, and they will be there.

There’s a difference between being a regular visitor, however, and a colonist. It’s not just the regularity and length of stay, but also the nature of it. Are they starting to sit in your favorite ass-worn sofa, and audaciously starting to pick up the remote control like it was their own? If so, you’d better change the locks and lay down some new boundaries. [Read: 13 clingy girlfriend signs and how to avoid being one]

#2 A helping hand. Everyone needs and appreciates a bit of help from friends and loved ones from time to time. It’s a signature requirement of a true and loving relationship. Using that help as an excuse to hold someone over a barrel though, to emotionally blackmail them into achieving a specific end, is an act of extraordinary foul play.

The home colonizer is an expert at this move, especially taking advantage of someone’s financial issues to help them, and using this help to justify a claim to the home. At all costs, reject any attempts to take over the paying of a bill. Bills really tie them into your home and give them a kind of semi-legal claim to living there. Definitely one to avoid.

#3 Make yourself comfortable. We all want our guests to feel comfortable in our homes, and none more so than the significant other. There is a big difference though, between them putting their feet up and helping themselves to the odd item from the refrigerator, and bringing their own creature comforts with them from their own home.

If their chairs, beds, tables, etc. start turning up courtesy of the local removal guys, or new items selected specifically with your place in mind start getting delivered by the department store, then there’s no doubt – colonization has begun in true earnest. [Read: 15 things to know before moving in with your boyfriend]

#4 The bathroom cabinet. Nowhere in the house is there a single better indicator of your partner trying to move in without telling you than in the bathroom cabinet. This sacred place is home to your toothbrush, toothpaste, medicines, creams, and other quite personal items. If, all of a sudden, you find them pushed into a corner to make room for your partner’s most intimate bits and bobs, then a move in is most certainly on the cards.

There are gender-specific indicators here also. If it’s a guy and he’s brought his shaving kit, or a girl and she’s loading your cabinet with female hygiene products, then a full colonization is firmly in effect. [Read: 6 common problems faced by couples who live together]

#5 In the neighborhood. If your other half is very sneaky, then they may put a more long-term plan into place. Rather than scaring you off with some of the other brasher indicators mentioned elsewhere in this feature, they may first start off with a move of their own – but to a place that is far nearer yours than was previously the case.

The closer the location, the greater the indicator that a sneaky takeover is on its way, as are very short-term leases and significant downgrading. If they’ve moved from a plush 5-bedroom townhouse to a gloomy, low-key box room, then chances are, they aren’t planning on staying there too long. [Read: 8 practical things that HAVE to be done before moving in together]

#6 Let’s talk about it. If the conversation turns to the topic at every turn, if every other word is twisted to somehow include the question of moving in, then you have a surefire indicator of an imminent colonization.

Try to change the conversation back as much as you want, but when this person has their mind set upon an aggressive takeover, there’s not much you can do. And the only way to deal with it is to bluntly put them in their place – no quarter given! [Read: The guide to asking your partner to move in with you]

#7 Dawn till dusk. This is quite a sneaky little indicator for you to take advantage of, and gives you an early warning on the whole sneak-move-in thing. Basically, when you are working and your partner has a day off for some reason, observe what they do with their time.

Most people won’t feel comfortable spending the whole day in someone else’s apartment. It feels like an imposition, and it just doesn’t have the comfort factor that your own home does. However, if they end up spending the whole day there, and are still there when you get back, then beware – they’re trying the place out for size and familiarizing themselves with what they’ve identified as their future abode. [Read: 8 big cons of moving in no one wants to talk about]

#8 Cool it. Similar to #4, if your most beloved nibbles and tipples are unceremoniously dumped out of the refrigerator and replaced with the preferred comestibles of your partner – then a takeover is, without doubt, waiting patiently in the wings.

#9 Return to sender. Have they started using your home address or home phone number as a point of contact for people whom you don’t even know? Then the process is, I’m afraid, almost complete. And you didn’t even see it coming!

#10 Keeping them sweet. Putting on the pressure is a key weapon in the arsenal of the surreptitious colonizer. There is no better way of doing this than by currying the favor of friends and family, and recruiting their help in “trying to make you see the light.” If this charm campaign extends to immediate neighbors also, then you really are fighting on the back foot. Good luck with getting out of that one!

[Read: 14 tips to make living together before marriage work for you]

Identify the above sneaky moving in signs to avoid being annexed by your partner, and enjoy your freedom for just that little bit longer!

Original article by LovePanky.com: Is Your Partner Trying to Move In Without Telling You?.

Are you someone who has a tendency to get ghosted without even realizing it? Here’s how to know if this is you, and the different ways to deal with it.

Getting ghosted can be one of the most frustrating things on the planet. But first, what really is ghosting? For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, other than it being used around Halloween time, I’ll break it down for you.

What is ghosting?

Ghosting is when you abruptly and suddenly cease all forms of communication with someone who you are currently dating but no longer wish to date. This is performed by people who dislike confrontation, and are hoping that the person they are seeing will just “get the hint” and back off.

Yeah, I know. It’s harsh. And it really does suck for people that it happens to, for a number of reasons. It offers no reasoning, no closure, and leaves the victims feeling confused and insecure. But it does happen quite often, and it’s always relieving to know if you’re really being ghosted or if someone is just busy.

I have personally never been ghosted. Maybe it’s because I’m just too annoying and eventually the guy has to just tell me what’s going on so his phone will stop blowing up. I’m not really sure. However, a lot of my friends have, and I’ve watched them sit through each of these signs. [Read: What really is Ghosting and how does it affect you?]

5 clear signs that you’ve been ghosted

It can seem pretty obvious that you’re being ghosted, but there is a way of ghosting someone that can be so subtle, you won’t even know that you’ve slipped into the trap. With all of the hell my friends have been through, I’ve figured out 5 ways you can tell if you’re being ghosted for sure, and another 5 ways to deal with it.

#1 You receive zero communication from their end. So you’ve texted them a few times and even called here and there and have received silence, yet they’ve been on social media and you know they saw your texts. Maybe they’re busy, but if it’s been a couple of days and you haven’t heard from them once, then chances are, you’ve been ghosted. [Read: 20 sure reasons why a guy could be ignoring you]

#2 You were deleted from any and all social media. If you two have been seeing each other, odds are that you’re friends on social media. This one is tricky, because it could happen before or after the actual act of ghosting.

If by chance you find yourself missing their posts from Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, and you decide to investigate and you are no longer their friend, then you may also find yourself absent from their recent contacts list. Your “date” is most likely winding up to ghost you officially.

#3 They don’t show up to the plans you make. If you’re making all sorts of plans with them and then finding yourself sitting alone at the bar, mini golf course, or even at a nice restaurant, then you’re being ghosted – something that is traditionally known as being stood up. They don’t want to take the time and tell you that they can’t show up, because then they would have to make up an excuse and blah, blah, blah. They find ghosting easier. [Read: The easiest way to avoid getting stood up on a date… ever!]

#4 They use the excuse of always being “busy.” This is a much more subtle sign that you’re either currently being ghosted, or you will be ghosted very soon. When your texts and calls always go unanswered, only for them to reply with, “Sorry. Busy,” then you’re definitely getting ghosted.

They don’t have an actual excuse for why they haven’t gotten to your messages, so chances are, they aren’t busy and they just want you to get the hint. Don’t be surprised if these “busy” texts turn into no replies at all – the true sign of being ghosted. [Read: 11 realistic reasons why your date isn’t responding to your texts]

#5 They end conversations abruptly. Have you been mid-conversation with the person you’re dating *via texting or messaging, usually* and they can’t seem to keep the conversation going? Do they just cut you off, or reply with vague agreements?

If yes, then most likely, they’re gearing up to hit you with the ghost! This is a subtle sign that you’re being ghosted, and they’re preparing to hit you with the ultimate ghost very shortly.

Alright, so if you’ve been ghosted, how do you deal with it?

If you’re one of the unlucky few that have been ghosted and now have to deal with it, then you don’t have it very easy. It can be hard to accept the fact that someone would rather just cut off all ties and have no further contact with you than to just have a conversation that would end things.

5 ways to deal with ghosting without losing your mind

We have put our heads together and come up with 5 ways that will make dealing with this a lot easier.

#1 Just accept it. There’s no point in trying to get around it. There’s no point in making excuses for this person. It happened. Just take it in stride, and accept the fact that they no longer want to proceed with any form of a relationship.

And that’s okay! Accepting this will make getting over it a whole lot easier. Just shrug it off, don’t try to contact them, and you will be just fine. The first step in anything is acceptance, right? [Read: The right way to stop feeling ignored by someone you love]

#2 Realize that they’re not worth it. And by “it,” I mean any negative emotions you may be feeling. If this person doesn’t even have the decency to break things off with you in person, then they’re not worth your time. Not to mention they couldn’t even lamely break it off over the phone either!

People who ghost are people who don’t have any regard for dealing with other people’s issues or feelings. Those people will not be a good fit in your life anyway, and they’re not even worth the wasted mascara, over-consumption of ice cream, or the anger that comes with them. [Read: 10 signs you’re lovesick and 10 easy ways to get out if it quickly]

#3 Look at is as a positive. They did you a favor! Obviously, if someone is ghosting you, then they have a serious problem facing confrontation of any kind. This is a great thing for you to realize as early as you have!

What would happen down the road if the two of you got into a relationship and then into an inevitable fight? Would they just lock themselves in the bathroom or run off to the bar and just ignore you until they think the problem is resolved? You shouldn’t want to be with someone like that, anyways! So by ghosting you, they have done you the favor of breaking it off before you had to. [Read: 6 reasons why so many people have a fear of confrontation]

#4 Stop trying to get a reply out of them. Better yet, just delete their number all together. And if they haven’t already deleted you from their social media, then beat them to it. In order to deal with being ghosted, it’s best to just cut yourself off. Don’t go around texting and calling them all the time. Don’t call them out on social media either. Just leave them be and move on!

#5 Find someone else. What better way to get over someone who rudely just stopped talking to you than to find someone else to spend your time with? Get out there and find someone who is better than anyone who would ghost you. There are many, many people out there who are far better than that person, and it’s time for you to realize that. Distract yourself with someone better!

[Read: Why you should never make someone a priority when you’re only an option to them]

Being ghosted can be tricky to spot, and even harder to deal with. But if you use the tips above to identify it first, you will also be able to deal with it and move on!

Original article by LovePanky.com: Got Ghosted? 5 Clear Signs and 5 Ways to Deal With It.

Being attracted to someone else and having a crush on them despite being in a committed relationship is natural. And it can happen to the best of us!

Attraction doesn’t care if you’re single or committed. It doesn’t care what you look like, how old you are, how many kids you have, or what’s going on in your life. Attraction comes quickly and more often than not, it’ll hang around until you banish it.

It’s totally fine to indulge in a crush if you’re single and available but what if you’re in a committed relationship? Unfortunately, commitment doesn’t make you blind to that sexy waitress. It doesn’t make you oblivious to the fact that the hot web designer can’t stop flirting with you. Neither does it make you completely void of feeling when you meet someone and sparks fly.

I’ve had a crush. In fact, I’ve had many—but only one whom I got real close to cheating on my partner with. We met at a birthday party and after several hours of stimulating conversation, we exchanged email addresses. He’s a fellow writer and I used that as an excuse to connect with him. He promised me a contact with someone in the publishing world and we both agreed to proofread what each other was working on.

Although I realized that I was treading on thin ice, I went along with it on the basis that I was advancing my professional career. Next thing I knew, we were exchanging work emails. Coffee meet ups followed then work lunches ensued. The sexual energy was palpable and although he was aware that I was in a committed relationship, he didn’t desist. Flirtatious suggestions and a little bit more took place. [Read: 18 emotional affairs signs you probably haven’t noticed]

A girlfriend advised me to, “Get over him by getting under him.” I’m not going to deny that I thought about it. A lot. I envisioned his face when I was making love to my partner and I looked forward to his emails and texts. I was dangerously close to giving in to temptation but thankfully I took the alternative route.

How to handle a crush when you’re in a relationship

If you’re in the same position, here are 14 steps that you can take to handle your crush while you’re in a committed relationship.

#1 Enjoy it. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the fact that you’ve still “got it.” It’s nice knowing that someone besides your partner wants to be with you. Enjoy the moment but be sure to stop there and not take it any further. [Read: Why flirting with someone else isn’t such a bad thing!]

#2 Don’t agree to solo meet ups. Your crush may ask you out for a solo meet up or you might feel the itch and want to arrange a one-on-one. Whether it’s for a cup of java or a jog in the park, something that may seem harmless at first will escalate into a situation that you’ll regret.

#3 Minimize your time together. If you know that you’re going to see your crush at a party, be friendly but don’t spend all night chatting each other up. If you work together, keep it professional and don’t dally around the coffee machine waiting for them to show up. Wherever you might see them, be sure to keep a considerable distance between you. [Read: How to resist the temptation to cheat on your partner]

#4 Keep it civil. As hard as this may be, don’t turn on the charm when you’re around your crush. Treat them like everyone else and be sure not to shower them with special treatment. The key is to keep things civil and somewhat cold between you. If you act like there’s nothing between you, then eventually nothing will happen.

#5 Don’t pursue online communication. It’s not a good idea to physically meet up, but what about hanging out online? It may seem harmless, but it’s best not to indulge. Trust me when I tell you that one email here, one PM there, one poke here or one like there is never enough. One thing will lead to another and that’s where the problem lies. [Read: Online flirting – Are you cheating without even realizing it?]

#6 Don’t share too much. Be sure not to build an emotional bond with your crush. Never share personal details, especially if it has to do with your relationship. Your crush doesn’t need to know that your girlfriend yells at you more often than she should, or that your husband is more concerned about making money than working on your relationship. Once you forge a bond with your crush and lean on them for support, you’ve thrown yourself into the deep end.

#7 Don’t tempt fate. Always remember that it’s not worth giving in to lust. You may enjoy the butterflies in your stomach. You may miss that feeling of being wooed. You may enjoy receiving newfound attention and affection from someone other than your partner. No matter what, always keep in mind that you shouldn’t play with fire unless you’re willing to get burned. [Read: Should you ever tell if you only cheated once?]

#8 Keep your distance. If you move in the same social circles as your crush, it’s inevitable that you’ll run into each other. However, you should try to avoid them where you can. If you run into each other at a party, make the customary rounds, enjoy everyone’s company, then leave early. Don’t push your luck because if you’re both still there at the end of the night, you’ll end up gravitating towards each other—even more so if alcohol is involved.

#9 Be the bigger person. Although many people think that some things are better left unsaid, I for one believe in absolute honesty, especially in situations such as these. As hard as this may be, let your crush know that you’re not going to stray from your partner and that you’re not going to indulge in lust. Let them know that you’re only willing to engage them in friendship and nothing more. Once they’re aware that you’re not willing to give them what they want, they will back off. Hopefully. [Read: 13 easy ways to avoid falling in love with someone]

#10 “Hide” them. Be sure to “hide” your crush—not literally, but on social media. The saying “out of sight, out of mind” comes into play here. When you’re not constantly inundated with your crush’s pictures, status updates, tweets or anything else, there’s a good chance that it will be easier for you to get over them. There’s nothing worse than waking up in the morning and being greeted by your crush’s bed head selfie. It’ll needlessly remind you of them and we both know how hard it is to get your crush out of your head.

#11 Set them up with a friend. If you can’t have your crush, then you might as well let someone else enjoy them. Why not set them up with someone you know? If things work out, your crush will be out of your life and in your acquaintance’s arms in no time. This will give you the chance to focus on your own relationship.

#12 Ask yourself, “What’s the point?” The next time you find it difficult to decide if you should go for it with your crush, ask yourself what the point is. If the only answer you can come up with revolves around sex and having a saucy time, then you know that what you’re doing is absolutely pointless. The risk is not worth the effort. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat – A guide to make up your mind]

#13 Look at your crush as a warning. There has to be a reason you’re keen on risking your relationship to explore something with your crush. Maybe it’s because your partner isn’t giving you what you want. Maybe it’s because you’re unhappy in your relationship. No matter your reasons, you need to address these warning signs. Only once you’ve exhausted all efforts to save your relationship should you even consider forging a bond with your crush. Even then, be sure that you’re single before doing anything. [Read: Love triangles and its confusing complications]

#14 Tell someone close to you. If all else fails and you think you can’t control yourself around your crush, it’s time for you to come clean with your partner. Have a serious discussion with them and let them know what’s going on. Trust me when I say that your sweetheart will keep you in check. Of course, this all depends on how understanding your partner is. If you know that they are going to flip out *and rightfully so* to the point of no return, it may be better to keep it to yourself. Approach your best friend or a confidante instead.

[Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend and feel a lot better!]

At the end of the day, you have to remember that you’re in a committed relationship. Why make a promise to your partner if you’re not going to keep it? There’s no point risking it all for a cheap thrill because in the end, people are going to get hurt and you’re going to be one of them.

Original article by LovePanky.com: 14 Ways to Handle a Crush While You’re in a Relationship.

Everyone keeps asking, why do dads keep screwing the nanny? Take a look at why husbands find nannies so darn irresistible and what wives can do about it!

Not all men are interested in doing the nanny, and not all nannies want their bosses to hit on them. It’s the truth, but apparently there are a lot of cases like this coming to light.

With all the news about celebrities taking leave of their insanely attractive and successful wives for their less accomplished au pairs, you can’t help but think that there might be an underlying norm in our culture of husband-nanny relationships.

Let’s take a look at the transgressors in the media

These famous celebrities all had affairs with their children’s nannies.

#1 The latest was Ben Affleck, whose she-nanny-gans allegedly started after he and Jennifer Garner broke up. But when the existence of the insanely hot nanny came to light, any other reason for their divorce was chucked out the window.

#2 Jude Law’s affair was probably the most sensationalized. This was around the time that Sienna Miller was gaining substantial ground within the acting community.

#3 Arnold Schwarzenegger, inarguably the most famous baby-daddy of a nanny on the planet, ended up with a hefty amount of child support to pay, while still married to a Kennedy.

#4 Ethan Hawke was married to Uma Thurman, one of the biggest female powerhouses in Hollywood. After their divorce, he married their nanny.

#5 Last but not least, there was Robin Williams. He married his babysitter after he and his wife divorced. Valerie Velardi was an actress as well.

This then begs the question: How did these guys end up falling in love *or in lust* in the first place? [Read: Why do men cheat? 3 big reasons + 27 more]

Why is this happening?

Celebrities are major tabloid fodder, so it’s understandable that their transgressions will be highlighted more than they would be if they were regular people. You’d think that maybe it was just them, but apparently, us little people aren’t immune to this sort of situation. Just look at what happened to these ladies.

We can’t call it a trend, because that would be like calling human nature a trend. The fact remains, however, that there is a cause for concern about some men’s frequent exposure to their baby-sitter or nanny. Here are some reasons why these affairs are commonplace.

#1 Who’s your mommy? Sociologists say that men are inclined to be more attracted to women who exude the mother figure persona. When a guy sees the nanny with his kids, he knows she’s not their mother; however, there might be a small chance that their subconscious relates to the nanny as a mother.

#2 Let’s have a baby. There’s also the case of men associating child-rearing with fertility. It’s another way to say that their bodies betray them because they’re looking for someone to impregnate. [Read: 10 deceptively simple reasons why men cheat on the best of women]

#3 Men and their sensitive side. Dads are more open when their kids are around. They are usually at their most vulnerable whenever they spend time with children. If the nanny is around, she will be privy to a very personal side of the man who employs her. If it turns out that they are easily attracted to that, the idea of an affair may cross their mind.

#4 Too close for comfort. A study showed that potential couples who spend a lot of time with each other are more likely to develop a relationship. That could be the reason why workplaces and schools are the most common places where people meet their life-long partner, and unfortunately, often their backdoor lovers as well.

But having a nanny around is sometimes a necessity. It’s impossible to write off the idea just because there are risks to your existing relationship with your partner.

It’s also very unwise to choose a nanny based on their appearance or age. If you focus too much on that factor, you won’t be able to see the important points, like how good they are with kids and whether or not they are trustworthy enough to let into your home.

So how can you prevent the clichéd Nanny-Daddy affair from happening at all, if you need to find someone who can take your position when you’re out of the house? [Read: 13 lusty signs of attraction you need to keep an eye on]

Which men are the most likely to stray with the nanny?

If you look at the aforementioned list of celebrities, you can see a few common factors stringing their different lives together.

#1 They’re all rich and powerful men.

#2 Their wives are rich, powerful, and accomplished women.

#3 They have nannies for varied reasons, but they all relate to needing someone to help out with their busy lifestyles.

If you go by that criteria alone, you would think that there are millions of people who fit the bill for a potential affair. Men who are successful. Women who are successful. Nannies who are simply making a living.

It’s too wide a scope to actually consider these reasons as a basis when looking out for nursery room affairs. Generalizing won’t help, in case you’re wondering if it will happen to you. But here are a few factors you may want to look into. [Read: 16 very subtle signs your husband may be cheating on you]

#1 Egotistic husbands. Experts say that egocentric men are the ones who are more likely to cheat with the nanny. How so? Because it’s how extremely narcissistic people work. Knowing that something will put them on top of the food chain gives them grounds to do it in their minds, ergo getting it on with someone submissive is okay. [Read: 10 clear signs you’re dating a self obsessed narcissist]

#2 Submissive nannies. These are nannies who don’t seem confident in their line of work. Being an au pair is a serious job, no matter which way you look at it. If your nanny forgets what she’s supposed to be doing, that’s when the trouble starts. Not all nannies are submissive folk, but you can see how that tendency can develop when someone is paying you and is marginally more successful than you are.

#3 Neurotic husbands. These men are also control freaks. They need to dominate something and put it under their control. When a nanny they chose complements that need – meaning that they lean more towards being insecure and pliable – they will become prime targets for the wandering eyes of questionable husbands. [Read: 20 signs of a control freak who wants everything in control]

#4 Husbands who put too much value on their wife’s status. Unfortunately, because they are egocentric, they choose to acquire trophy wives. That’s not to say that they never fell in love, but you can’t ignore the fact that the ex-wives of the celebrities listed above are insanely awesome women. The downside to this is that the type of women these men go for are not ones that they can mold or manipulate. This can then lead to finding an alternative who they can control.

#5 Domineering wives. There’s a difference between a woman who is confident and assured, and one who oversteps her boundaries and ends up overshadowing her husband’s role in the marriage. When this happens, it can lead to resentment from the husband, which may be eased by someone who is readily available and open for communication. So, who is willing to provide that? Someone who is paid to care, maybe? [Read: Why men feel emasculated and the repercussions of it]

What should you do to keep this from happening?

If your husband is a cheating bastard, there’s not much you can do about him having an affair with another consenting adult.

If, however, hiring another woman to take care of your children worries you, you need to start fixing things at home beforehand. And it all starts with how you and your husband feel about each other.

Spend more time together, have more sex, take a trip, talk all night – no matter how you choose to do this, focus on your marriage, and not the external factors that are bothering you, like hiring a hot nanny. [Read: The 16 most important secrets to a really happy relationship]

If she’s already present, she probably doesn’t give a hoot about you and your marriage problems, unless it’s affecting the children. And if you think an affair’s already started, you better nip it in the bud by confronting your husband *calmly and logically* before things get out of hand.

When you can’t control the outcome and it’s already too messed up to begin with, it’s best to start putting your ducks in a row and making sure the children are safe and taken care of. Other than that, you better hope you didn’t hire a wolf in Mary Poppins’s clothing.

[Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner without dropping a hint]

Having a nanny around your husband may feel uncomfortable at first, but by watching out for these signs, you can prevent a dad-nanny affair way before it even starts!

Original article by LovePanky.com: Nanny Affairs: Why are Dads Attracted to Nannies?.

Trophy wife, arm candy, human jewelry—whatever term you use, this particular phenomenon is one that nearly all men subscribe to.

We’ve all seen them. Whether they’re at business conventions, movie premieres, or social events, the stunning female with model looks draped seductively over the arm of a far inferior looking male specimen is something we can’t take our eyes off.

This is the legendary trophy wife; an accessory for successful men since time immemorial. Wherever there is ambition, there the trophy wife will be found. And make no mistake about it; there aren’t many of us guys who would turn down the chance to have one of our own. But why exactly is that the case?

The pros and the cons

There are many reasons why men seek the company of a trophy wife, a woman who is significantly better looking than them; a real ten-out-of-ten on the stunner scale. Yes, this can be due to the simple fact of being able to enjoy the physicality of such a beautiful woman, but there are a number of other reasons, usually linked to games of advantage and one-upping others in their immediate social circle. These are discussed in the first of the two following lists.

There are, however, downfalls associated with the trophy wife and we think it’s only fair that we should discuss these as well. [Read: The 23 kinds of relationships to define your love life]

Why do men desire a trophy wife?

We’re all looking at them as they enter the restaurant, as they step into that classic car, and as they strut down the street looking more than a little pleased with themselves. Is it just that men love the attention of having a beautiful woman on their arm, or is there something more?

#1 The little green-eyed monster. Let’s face it; guys love that first moment when they introduce her to their friends and/or colleagues and their jaws hit the ground in amazement. Soliciting this jealous reaction from others is one of the main reasons that the trophy wife is so popular, with all the petulant joy it brings! [Read: 18 physical traits of a woman that arouse any man instantly]

#2 Professional prestige. Taking along a trophy wife to a professional event is likely to make a boss sit up and take notice. A guy who can have a woman like that on his arm must be a real go-getter, an action man of the highest order. It’s a guaranteed way to get yourself noticed the next time the promotions are handed out.

#3 Blunt tongues. Trophy wives are usually very aware of what they are, and happy to compromise any other principles they may have. Consequently, they are unlikely to challenge and criticize your decisions and opinions in the manner that other women may. This means an easy life guaranteed for the man who doesn’t have much about him. [Read: How to be a sexy goddess who’s desired by all men]

#4 The fast track. It’s not only in your professional life that having a trophy wife adorning your arm works out for the best. Watch locked doors open and queues suddenly shorten as people make an effort to fast track you and your human jewelry down the corridors of life. From airplanes to lines at the nightclub, you will start to glide through life that little bit easier.

#5 You can’t be serious? A trophy wife is undeniably fun. She knows her place in life and doesn’t pretend to be anything else. She’s there to make you look good and feel good and that’s the role she performs. Always the life and soul of the party, she’ll ensure that you never have a dull evening—one way or another!

#6 The mystery factor. There’s nothing more guaranteed to get people guessing about you than the presence of a trophy wife. What are you? A big businessman, a politician, a superstar, a Bond-esque secret agent? It’s all fantastically ego-building stuff. [Read: 25 awesomely bad ways to be a total badass]

#7 Young at heart. It’s probably fair to say that the trophy wife is usually found upon the arm of a gentleman significantly older than herself. And there is something significantly rejuvenating about spending personal time in the company of a younger, beautiful woman. As they say, you’re only as old as the woman you feel! [Read: Why men always fall for the damsel in distress]

So what’s the catch?

Unfortunately, it’s not all fun filled nights of champagne and jealous stares. Having a trophy wife in your life also has some significant downsides.

#1 Deep pockets required. The most obvious disadvantage to a trophy wife is that if you’re going to run a Ferrari, then you have to pay a great deal more in maintenance. Trophies don’t come cheap, and an occasional wallet-saver dinner at the local burger joint is never an option. For this lady, it’s swanky restaurants and catwalk accessories every step of the way.

#2 Till death do us part? Trophy wives will tend to stick with someone who lavishes enough attention on them, but only until the next richer and better-looking option comes along. Be prepared to be ditched for a newer, more extravagant model. And trust me, she won’t think twice about making that change. [Read: The 7 kinds of women who will end up just wasting your time]

#3 Dangerous liaisons. Being a perfect 10, she can get any man she wants—and that magazine centerfold stud that strolled into the bar is going to walk away with her telephone number at the end of the night. Infidelity is the curse of any trophy wife relationship.

#4 Something missing. If there’s more to you than your acquisition of a trophy wife would suggest, you’re going to find the relationship very unfulfilling very quickly. They aren’t renowned for their scintillating conversation and you may just find yourself pining for a woman who knows her own mind.

#5 Beating the cliché. If you are the typical older man in this relationship, then expect the whisperers to engage in conversation at every opportunity your turned back presents. The rumormongers will be calling you every creepy old man epithet under the sun, and this isn’t really the ideal way for people to get to know you—in any arena. [Read: 10 sneaky signs you’re dating a 24K gold digger!]

#6 Raised eyebrows. Not the kind she gets every time she goes for her refreshing syringe of Botox, but the kind your friends display when she attempts conversation at the restaurant. If she’s not the greatest of conversationalists, prepare to be embarrassed!

#7 Accumulative stress. With all the embarrassments, worries and expenses of maintaining a trophy wife, is it actually worth having one? That is of course for you to decide, but there aren’t many men who manage such stresses without significant aplomb.

It’s no coincidence that many men who marry trophy wives end up with different women later in their lives. It’s exhausting, expensive and mentally draining to manage a trophy wife—with no real guarantee that she’ll stay with you in the end.

[Read: 15 signs a girl is high maintenance and not just a trophy wife]

Some men, however, still love the prestige that a beautiful woman affords. If that’s you, then go ahead and search out your particular piece of human jewelry. Just make sure you’re ready for the pitfalls too.

Original article by LovePanky.com: What is a Trophy Wife and Why do All Men Desire One?.

Ghosting may seem like the perfect way to get rid of people you’re not interested in. Until this strategy comes back to haunt you, that is.

Ghosting is something that has become popular as a means to avoid confrontation when it comes to—well—dumping someone. Many people use it so they don’t have to face the other person’s emotions or reaction. They think they’re safer just not communicating at all, and that they’ll be completely off the hook!

But are they really? Many people only see one side of ghosting: they refuse to return phone calls, texts, emails, and cut off every other form of communication. But what about the other side? What about the people who sit on the other end of that silent stream of nothing, contemplating all the things they may have done wrong—or even worrying that something has happened to the ghoster?

Ghosting: is it really the best way to go?

Never having been ghosted myself, I can’t say for certain what I would do in that situation. But I do know of a few people who took it the extra step, and retaliated against their ghoster. I quickly realized that ghosting actually happens more often than we realize.

People who ghost do not always get off scot-free. It may seem that they can just ignore their significant other and leave it at that. But there are people out there who have had enough of this behavior and want some answers.

I, for one, would definitely be one of these people, if it ever happened to me. People who are sick and tired of the ghosting trend sometimes go out of their way to make sure the ghosters know exactly how they feel. [Read: What is ghosting and how it affects you]

Prepare yourself!

If you’re someone who finds that it’s easier to just ghost people rather than confront them, you’ll want to beware of these consequences. Watch out for who you ghost!

#1 Face to face confrontation. That’s right. There are people out there who will have none of your ghosting ways! If you’re scared of the confrontation to begin with, then ghosting is not the way to go; some people will actually find you, and confront you about the matter.

They could show up at your door at 2 AM, demanding answers. Not only will you have to deal with the confrontation, but your ghostee will be MAD and not so understanding. Good luck.

#2 Making the situation worse. Yep. You just made a sort-of awkward situation MUCH worse. People are understanding. Even though you think they will throw a huge fit and yell at you for not being interested, most of the time people will not react this way.

They may be bummed out, but usually a spurned lover won’t go crazy. By ghosting them, you are immediately fueling and lighting their fire, making a simple situation horrible.

#3 Retaliation. Some people may be above this, but there are a lot who aren’t. By retaliation, I’m talking revenge. There are people out there that will be so hurt and confused by you, that they will go out of their way to hurt you in return.

Did you send them some racy photos? You may be surprised to find that they could show up on the internet for the world to see. Now, that may be extreme—but it’s a chance you’re taking by ghosting. [Read: 12 devious ways a crazy ex can get their revenge]

#4 Future problems with dating. People talk. If they see you’re dating someone new, it just might push them over the edge and cause them to do something a bit drastic… like telling your new fling that the second you’re done with them, you’re just going to run off without a word.

This could cause so many problems down the line, if you’re really interested in someone, and they find out you ghosted a former flame. It could turn them off completely, even if you wouldn’t do that to them. Because, honestly? What kind of person just up and leaves without a word? They may find that behavior inexcusable and decide they don’t want to pursue anything further with you.

#5 Crappy self-worth. Guilt? Remorse? Those feelings could be the real deal if you’re someone who ghosts often. Only if you have a heart, though. If you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you may realize that what you’re doing is inconsiderate, and even cruel.

You may start feeling bad about yourself because you realize that you haven’t been the best person you could be. That will certainly change your self-worth.

#6 Karma. What comes around, goes around. If you’re someone who is frequently ghosting and leaving people hurt, angry, and confused, then chances are that not many good things are going to come to you.

Whether you believe in karma or not, ghosting itself has consequences that function the same way as karma. Next time your car breaks down, or develops a mysteriously punctured tire, just think about if you’ve recently ghosted someone—because you may be paying the price.

#7 Disappointment from others. When people find out you ghost, it may change their opinion of you. I’m not just talking about future potential lovers, either. I’m talking about people in general, including friends and family.

You may have made a new friend and divulged the truth about how you ended things with your previous lover, and they might think differently of you—they might think negatively of you. It could potentially cost you a friend, because you couldn’t muster the courage to communicate. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]

#8 Losing out on something great. Seriously. It could have been way too early in the relationship to decide that you’re not interested. By ghosting your significant other, you could have lost out on something really great. Ghosting means never giving someone the opportunity to make a case for themselves. Shame on you!

#9 No future chances. If you ghost someone, and later realize that maybe they were better than you thought, and you want to try things again, you most likely won’t have that chance. By just cutting them out without a rhyme or reason, you’ve just ruined any future chances.

You can’t abandon someone without even a single word, leaving them wondering and hurt and upset, and then expect to just waltz back into their life. No way. Not a chance. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back from a better life]

#10 Inability to break up normally. If you end up dating someone wonderful and you’re together in a real relationship for a long time, but they one day decide that they’re not your soul mate, you will lack the experience to make a clean breakup.

You won’t know what to say, or how to make things right—and you’re in a situation where ghosting is not an option. This could potentially lead to you staying in a relationship that you’re unhappy with, solely because you just don’t know how to break up.

[Read: 5 signs of ghosting and 5 ways to deal with it]

We all know ghosting is just NOT the way to go when breaking up with a person. Those of you who think it’s a good idea… maybe you should reconsider. The consequences above just may make you think twice before ghosting your next victim.

Original article by LovePanky.com: Like Ghosting? Prepare Yourself for These 10 Consequences.

Is your bestie your perfect match? They could be! We’re looking at 10 signs that you’re already dating your best friend…and you don’t even know it!

Whether it’s strangers, friends, or family, do you find people constantly asking if you and your best friend are a couple? This might be funny the first few times, but if you’re constantly shielding off questions regarding your romantic status and getting comments about what a “cute couple” you are, it can get annoying—fast. But do you ever wonder if your family is catching onto something that you’re not?

If the thought of dating your best friend sends you into preschool-like fits of, “Eww, gross!” or “She has cooties!” then you probably haven’t been entertaining romantic thoughts—with good reason. There’s something to be said for caution, as dating your best friend can have some icky consequences, but there are also super sexy benefits to falling in love with your best pal.

Signs you’re dating your best friend already

So have you crossed the line from best friends into something more? We’re looking at 10 signs you may actually be dating your best friend—and you don’t even realize it!

#1 You’re already labeled by your friends. Friends know best, right? Sometimes, our friends catch on to things before we do. For example, are you constantly having to make a defense with a long, thought-out list of reasons why you’re “so not a couple” to your friends? Or do your friends expect that if they invite one of you to a party or event, the other one will inevitably show up as well?

If your friends are already pairing the two of you up, or can’t quite say your name without naming your “other half,” then you might want to start rethinking your “we’re just friends” stance. [Read: 13 tricky pros and cons of dating a best friend]

#2 Words are now beneath you. You and your best friend are now so in tune that you could have a whole conversation using your body language alone. Someone annoying you at a party? You can secretly mock this person with your BFF, using nothing but a glance. Feeling totally bummed out in a social situation? Your BFF already knows, and comfort is on the way! That’s right, when you really gel with someone, you can communicate without using language. You just know each other *that* well.

#3 They are automatically your +1. Got an invitation to a wedding, party, baby shower, housewarming, or little Haley’s graduation? No matter what the occasion, or how well you know the host, your plus one has already been determined. Whew! That’s one less thing to worry about. Why bother even looking for a date? I mean, you’re obviously bringing your best friend. Duh.

#4 You’ve become the green-eyed monster. If your BFF made plans that don’t involve you, or makes a new friend and you become a jealous freak, you may want to re-examine what you’re jealous of. Is it the plans, or that your BFF wants to hang out with someone who isn’t you? Either way, you’re jealous for a reason, and you should probably decipher why that is before you start looking like a crazy person.

#5 You talk all day long. We mean *all* day. You exchange “good morning” texts, call or text throughout the day detailing work life and the bad-breath monster you were trapped with on the elevator, and you finish off the day with an obligatory night-time phone call or goodnight text. This is way more than just close friends. This is entering lover territory. [Read: Are you more than friends or just friends?]

#6 You have fights that feel like breakups. If you and your bestie have had a fight that felt more like a breakup, then things have definitely taken a romantic turn. Sure, we all have intense fights with friends from time to time, but if this particular fight leaves you with knots in your stomach, makes you cry, or results in a getting-back-together-like reunion, you may be closer to coupledom than you think.

#7 You share everything. And we mean everything. Does he tell you about the newest video game coming out, his weird issues with his mom, or the hair he found in his soup? Do you tell him about friend/family/workmate drama, Sephora’s new value palettes, and how your period cramps are killing you? Oversharing comfortably is a definite sign that things are taking a relationshippy turn.

What’s more, do you tell your BFF things you wouldn’t dare tell anyone else? If so, it’s probably because they’re totally awesome and wouldn’t spill your deep, dark, and shamefully embarrassing secrets with the world. Nope, not even a Twitter mention! You trust your BFF implicitly, and that’s an amazing trait for any budding romantic relationship.

#8 Plans are assumed. You know how they say you’re never really single if you have a best friend? At this point, you don’t even make other plans on the weekend. When it comes to you and your bestie, plans are solid and do not have to be discussed. You are each other’s weekend bitch. [Read: In love with your best friend…What next?]

#9 You had to find a new label. Somewhere along the line, “friend” just didn’t seem to cut it anymore, so you became “best” friends *BFFS, Biffles, Besties, etc.* but now that doesn’t seem to really describe how extraordinary your friendship is.

Whenever you’re together, all you talk about is how fierce your friendship is *okay well, not the whole time, but it comes up, okay?* You’ve now moved beyond best friends, and become something else entirely to each other. You try and replace it with cutesy nicknames, calling each other your “life partner” ironically…but somewhere deep down, we know you totally mean it. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]

#10 Best friends and lovers. Alright, so it’s definitely possible to have pretty much all of these signs be true for you and your bestie without harboring some repressed romantic connections…but consider this: many psychotherapists and laymen alike agree that your romantic partner should also double as your best friend. If you already have a BFF, and you’re totally attracted to them, what’s stopping you from pursuing what could be a magical relationship?

[Read: 17 clear signs you should be dating your best friend already]

We’re not saying you’re definitely in love with your best friend…we’re just strongly hinting. Using these ten signs as your guide, why not take a chance on your bestie and admit that you’d make the most awesome couple ever?

Original article by LovePanky.com: 10 Signs You’re Dating Your Best Friend and Don’t Know It.

Although cheating may seem like the end of the road in your relationship, there are ways to survive the infidelity without giving up on each other.

The biggest problem and the biggest fear in pretty much every relationship out there is infidelity. Cheating is the most talked about mistake that any person can make—and for good reason. It breaks trust, loyalty, and hearts.

As someone who has been cheated on more than once, I can attest to all of these consequences. It’s never an easy situation to deal with, and sometimes it’s easier to just leave the person than to even try to make things work. But then again, sometimes fighting through that difficult time can be the right thing to do.

Why do people cheat?

First, we should understand what cheating is in order to move forward.

People cheat for a number of different reasons and almost all of them have absolutely nothing to do with their partner. While the other person often blames themselves for their partner’s cheating, it usually boils down to psychological issues that the cheater has. [Read: Why do men cheat? 3 big reasons and 27 excuses they use]

Many times, people who cheat have self-esteem issues, or dominance issues—or they might just be an asshole, with no respect for anyone else. No matter what the reason is, it is still wrong and no one should ever do it. [Read: 25 truthful reasons why women cheat so easily]

That being said, there are ways to work through such issues and still stay with your significant other. This is especially vital if your partner comes clean right away and feels bad about it. And for those of you who have years under your belt, you are likely still loved by your other half and working through it may be worth it.

Since there are two sides to this situation, we will address each one separately in order to move past this horrific event.

The cheater

You messed up. There’s no doubt about that. But if you want to move on, get over this rut in the relationship, and perhaps even improve things, then listen up, because here’s how to do it:

#1 Be remorseful. You did wrong. There’s no excusing it and you need to be sorry. If you truly want to make things better and fix things with your lover, then you have to be really sorry about your actions. And you need to make sure they know that, too.

#2 Own up to your mistakes. Don’t deny it and don’t try to hide it. If you made that kind of mistake and feel bad about it and immediately regret it, go tell your partner. Don’t try and push them away, because eventually they will find out and it may be too late to be forgivable. Own up to your mistake immediately if you want to survive your infidelity. [Read: The step-by-step guide to ending an affair and getting over it completely]

#3 Show empathy for your partner. You just put them through their own personal hell. You’d better let them be angry. Let them cry. Let them hate you. Let them have any emotion they might have because you are responsible for it. Show that you actually care that you made them feel this way. Be there when they’re venting, and sit back and let it happen.

#4 Don’t expect to be trusted right away. You violated the only thing that can immediately make someone stop trusting you. Don’t expect, after talking it out, that they’re going to trust you right away; they won’t. Trust needs to be built back up. You can’t be annoyed if they check in more frequently, or are a little more suspicious of your actions. It’s your fault. [Read: 9 practical steps to rebuild trust after you’ve cheated]

The victim

I know exactly how you feel—believe me. But if you truly love your partner and feel that you can get past this, here are some steps you can take to make that happen.

#1 Listen and try to understand. I know it’s really hard to understand why someone would do such a thing to you, but they probably had no intention of hurting you at all. It could be their own personal problems that they’re working through and that’s the way they tried to get through them. Listen to their reasons and try to understand where they’re coming from—even if it doesn’t make sense to you.

#2 Talk about how you feel. Let it ALL out. I mean it. If you have to throw a temper tantrum that makes a bratty 3-year-old look like a perfect angel, then do it! You need to tell them how you feel and get all of your emotions out. Holding onto feelings is like holding onto resentment, and that will hinder any progress you’re hoping to make toward surviving this incident.

#3 Don’t blame yourself. This will only hurt you further. It’s not your fault. Whatever their reasons are, it’s not your fault that they cheated. Realizing this will go far as you learn to forgive them. [Read: 8 ways to confront a cheater who plays the victim card]

#4 Try to trust them. It won’t be easy and it won’t happen right away, but try to trust them again. If they came to you about this and really want to fix things, then you have to give it your all to make it right, too. Try to trust that what they say is true and that their actions will match their words.

Together

Now that you know what it takes on your own, you both still have to work together to get through this kind of situation.

#1 Realize that there are deeper relationship issues at hand—on both ends. Cheating is a sign that something in the relationship is off. On some level, you two aren’t connecting. By realizing this, you can work to find the root of the problem and fix that; the rest will follow.

#2 Talk to each other. Communication is key. If you’re feeling annoyed and angry at them for any reason, tell them. Successful relationships need communication to function properly—especially after an incident like this. Don’t be afraid to open up to your partner about anything.

#3 Don’t forget. You can forgive for this type of issue, but never forget about it. This is a serious violation of trust and the two of you need to remember it for the future. Just because you worked things out this time doesn’t mean that it can be done again if one of you slips up. [Read: How to regain your partner’s trust after you’ve cheated or lied to them]

#4 Don’t expect everything to be normal right away. This type of thing takes time: time to forgive, time to move on, and time to heal. The pain that is caused by something like this is not easily mended. You two may be off for a while, and things may be a little awkward. Just know that eventually things will get better—if that’s what you want.

#5 Build the trust again. Between both of you, you need to build the trust back up. That’s the only way that you will be able to move on from this part of your relationship. It won’t happen right away, but you will eventually be able to trust each other again.

#6 Love each other. Show each other that you care. If there’s one thing that can heal any relationship, it’s love. Get back to that phase where you can’t leave each other alone, because you just always want to be around each other, and because you love one another so much. Finding that place is a perfect way to survive infidelity without tearing apart.

[Read: 8 sure things you need to do before forgiving a cheater]

Cheating is rough. Mending a relationship after that kind of trust is broken is not an easy process, but with all of the help above, you can survive it—and even come out better than before.

Original article by LovePanky.com: 14 Ways to Survive Infidelity Without Tearing Apart.

Get your guy all hot and bothered even if you’re miles apart with these 12 sexting tips to pull of the steamiest sexting session ever!

Pen and paper, like stationery and love letters, are now ancient relics of the past. Gone are the times when you’d wait for weeks for mail to reach you and get an update from your beau. This time, all you have to do is whip out your smartphone and text away.

So today, the distance between texting and sexting is only a winking emoji away. But what do you say? How far should you go? Should you send a suggestive nude pic? How can you avoid sounding awkward? Will he think you’re a freak? And what if someone else reads it?

First of all, relax and be confident. No matter how instant things are these days, one of the keys to sexting is to take it slow. Start with subtlety, let him get into it, and enjoy the show! [Read: How to text flirt with a friend and build it to sexting in one text conversation]

How to sext a guy and turn him on

Let us lay down the deets on the do’s and don’ts of this growing, throbbing, titillating…art. So get those fingers warmed up and ready, and find yourself getting wonderfully laid tonight as we give you the ultimate guide to sexting.

#1 Do it for you and not for him. First of all, you do it not to please him but to pleasure your little old self because you like it and you like him, with the latter being a delicious bonus. Doing so will make it more natural and less awkward, therefore exponentially upping up the ante on the titillation factor. This will also make the experience more fun for yourself. And the more fun you have, the more sex appeal you will channel through your sexts. [Read: 20 sexy questions to sext a guy and seduce him discreetly]

#2 Do learn how to spell. You don’t have to use highfalutin words to impress your guy, especially when you’re sexting. But if you’re always sending out texts with spelling and grammar errors, it only goes to show that you’re being careless or you’re simply not paying attention to what you’re really saying.

Perhaps you’re busier eating your lunch or talking to your colleagues over coffee break as you text, but that will completely ruin the mood. Correct spelling and grammar, even with the simplest words, show that you care enough to double check what you’re typing before sending them.

#3 Do double-check your autocorrect. Aside from human error in grammar and spelling, autocorrect is also the bane of sexting in the moment. Instead of saying you want to stroke his thighs and run your fingers on his hard chest, you might end up saying you want to string his things and ruin your fingerlings on his harvest. Double check that autocorrect hasn’t completely ruined your message—or your sex life.

#4 Do be creative and different. Instead of the usual “Hi!” try to make an impression by putting some more “oomph” and thought to your message. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to put some well-placed emojis.

Saying, “Hi, I thought of you today!” would get an upgrade and a naughtier innuendo if you add a winking emoticon and even a horny devil in the end. This could get the ball rolling on a wonderful sexting session in the morning and a satisfying sexing session by night time. [Read: 20 steamy text messages to start a sexy conversation]

#5 Do take it slow. What’s exciting about sexting is the sexual tension built up over time. Coming on too strong or too fast may throw your guy off, especially if you have just met. Don’t escalate from a simple hello to, “I’m totally touching myself while thinking of you.”

Start out with a simple text, and be flirtier and flirtier as you progress. Build up the anticipation by making your texts naughtier and naughtier, until your man can’t wait to actually do the deed with you. [Read: Sexy, naughty sexting games to leave you both horny all night long]

#6 Don’t give away too much. Despite the tension that you build up by describing what you’re wearing, be careful to still leave something to his imagination. Instead of telling him what you’re going to do to him, just give a hint or simply say you have something planned later and you think he’ll like it very much.

Again, be creative and suggestive as you leave him thinking about you for the rest of the day. Let the teasing do the talking, and leave all the action for later. [Read: 23 sexy tips to dirty talking and saying the naughtiest things]

#7 Do keep it real. Saying that you’re going to tie him up to a pole and whip the bejeezus out of him isn’t something that will turn him on, especially because he knows it’s ridiculously untrue *unless it’s true!*. In fact, it may even freak him out a little.

Always text something that you really plan on doing, so there is follow through. Be imaginative, but don’t make it an utter fantasy or an empty promise. However, if you’re playing the fantasy card and he totally gets the role-play, then text away. [Read: 50 sexy and dirty things to say to your boyfriend]

#8 Don’t send naked pictures with your face. In fact, NEVER put a face to that hot naked booty. After the celebrity scandals, hacks, and leaks, the last thing you need is your naked body plastered all over the internet. It might make you an instant celebrity—but not in a good way.

It doesn’t matter if you trust your partner because the bottom line is, you’ll never know where those photos—or videos—might end up. Worst case scenario: you don’t know the person you’re texting and you’re very well putting yourself in danger, hurting your relationships, and damaging your career. [Read: How to do damage control for leaked nudes]

#9 Do know when to stop. Have you seen him flirting with another woman last night, and now he’s telling you he’s got the hots for you? What if he forgot your anniversary? Whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been married for years, a rule of thumb for sexting and for your whole relationship for that matter is: good men get rewarded, while assholes get cut off.

If he forgets to show up on your date, and then he suddenly sends you something nasty? The only reply to that sext is silence.

#10 Do know when to ease off. Similarly, you should also know when to hit the breaks when naughty takes a turn for actually being nasty. If he’s sexting you about threesomes or something that is really not your cup of tea, be vocal, and let him know that you’re not into certain things.

Being in the heat of the moment doesn’t mean you have to play along with something that you’re really not comfortable with. After all, you should be having fun too.

#11 Don’t sext while you’re drunk. Sexting only works when it’s enticing and even witty. It’s like mental foreplay with your guy. So never sext when you’re drunk because it probably won’t be as sexy as you imagined it in your head.

In fact, you may even send the text to the wrong person or even a complete stranger. So do yourself a favor: when you’re drinking, put down your phone, and save the sexting for when you’re sober. [Read: How to talk dirty to a guy and sound really sexy]

#12 Do be open to real text conversations. If your man texts you that he had a rough day at work, don’t respond by saying, “Oooh, I’m so horny honey.” Show that you are responsive not only when he’s being kinky and frisky, but that you’re also there for him when he’s down or if he just needs someone to talk to and lean on in not-so-good-and-sexy times.

Don’t substitute sexting in place of having real conversations or getting to know him even better. Use sexting only as a tool to add spice to the relationship, and not your sole form or connecting with him.

In a nutshell, sexting is fun when done according to the guidelines that don’t make you end up regretting what you just sent. There’s already so much at stake when you send that first racy text to a new guy, so it’s important to know how to do it right! [Read: 10 sexy conversation starters to get you both horny]

[Read: How to get a guy horny and hard just by sitting next to him]

These sexting tips will help you see what you may be doing wrong all along, or even get you started if you haven’t caught on yet. Keep these in mind as you compose your next flirtatiously naughty text!

Original article by LovePanky.com: 12 Super Steamy Sexting Tips to Turn a Guy On Instantly.

You swipe your phone to find…the dreaded dick pic. Don’t know what to say? We’re giving your 20 clever ways to respond to an unsolicited member.

With Snapchat and Tinder gaining in popularity *thanks to desperate serial daters and genuinely-seeking singles alike* there really is no avoiding it.

Avoiding what, you ask? The dick pic. The phallic photo. The cock shot. That image of someone’s private parts hanging out from outside their boxers, or that naked below-the-belt photo in the bathroom. Whether it was a booty call sext, a drunk ex, or a well-endowed prick *pun intended* we have all received an unwanted dick pic at some point.

The thing with all these willy-nilly noodles flapping all over our smartphones is that there’s too much of the unwanted, unsolicited, and not to mention tasteless ones popping up. Women like dick, alright, but not via an in-your-face photo. As if a picture of a dick would make women automatically want to have sex with the sender.

Return to sender

If you’re one of those women who keeps getting dick pics or are scared your cock-shot-virgin eyes will set their sights upon one soon, then here are 20 clever and classy ways you can respond to an unwanted “schlong-fie.”

#1 Retaliate. Respond with a better-looking dick pic. Really, what is it about his dick that’s so amazing that he thinks you’d date him based on a two-second view? Get his ego back to earth and punch it smack in the face with an image of a bigger, better-looking dick. [Read: Why are men so obsessed with their penis size?]

#2 Banana-rama. Take the metaphorical route and send a very morbid message to him. Take a picture of a banana or a weiner, for example, being sliced to pieces, or a phallic-looking tree being cut down with a chain saw. There’s nothing like an aggressive GIF or photo to send him a clear message: “Never send me dick pics—ever again!”

#3 Ridicu-LOL. Send him a simple “LOL.” It’s cold, it’s simple, and it’s effortless. Those three letters are enough to ridicule him and leave his ego damaged. Then, stop responding to all of his messages or, heaven forbid, a slew of more phallic pics.

#4 Point-and-shoot. Send a picture of yourself laughing and pointing directly at the camera—at him. Or you can also send a GIF or a photo of a hilariously, uncontrollably laughing character.

#5 Meme it. Send him back a meme to express your disgust and distaste. The interwebs is filled with memes—you can definitely find one that exactly expresses your thoughts and feelings about getting an unwanted cock shot.

#6 Pinch-to-zoom. Let him know that him sending you a photo of his dick allowed you to test out the pinch-to-zoom feature on your phone. Send him something like, “Wow, that’s it? Thanks, I now got to try the pinch-to-zoom feature on my new phone,” or “I had to zoom in to actually see what you got there. Ha!” This will be a blow to his ego, especially if he thinks that him hanging out is all that.

#7 Bigger, better. Tell him you’ve seen bigger. Or send him another GIF or photo of you raising your pinkie, a small pickle, or a short ruler.

#8 You’ve seen better. If him sending you a dick pic on the get-go shows just how much of an ass he is, then show him you’ve seen better. Send back a pic of you holding your bae’s dick, or even that of an ex’s, to show that his doesn’t pass the grade. Be careful to hide your face, though.

#9 Hairless ferret. “Is that a hairless ferret?” or “I didn’t know you have a hairless ferret for a pet.” If he’s feeling frisky, that can definitely kill the mood.

#10 Toothless mole rat. This can definitely make him regret peacocking his cock around without even so much as asking you for permission. Laugh and ask him if he just sent you a pic of a toothless mole rat.

#11 Own it. Tell him you have your own, then send him a picture of you with a realistic but fake dick. If you don’t have props, then Photoshop is your friend. The bigger, the better. Surely he’s not going to bother you anymore, after that.

#12 Cry over it. Nothing else can mess his mind more than a picture of you crying hysterically. Were you crying because his dick was so small? Or was it because his dick was so otherworldly beautiful? Well, he’ll never know. Because you won’t talk to him again.

#13 Child pornography. Compare his penis to that of a child, and respond with, “Hey, child pornography is a felony.” If that won’t wound his insensitive ego, it will at least trigger a red flag to the NSA. [Read: 8 best sex positions for men with smaller penises]

#14 Social media mayhem. Look him up on social media and tell his mom—or his girlfriend. Screenshot all of your conversations and send them over via direct message. Be careful not to make a bad situation worse by posting it publicly on their walls.

#15 Publicity. If he’s too public with his dick by sending a photo of it to someone he barely even knows, then give him what he wants, and help him save time. Publish his cock shot in a blog or via social media, but be sure to blur out his and your names and numbers for privacy purposes.

#16 Not impressed. Those two words can kill it for him. After all, he probably sends unwanted phallic photos because he thinks women are as impressed with his dick as he is. Well, responding with a curt “not impressed” will keep him from taking below-the-belt photos for a good, long while.

#17 Virtual ambiguity. Respond with something ambiguous, like, “Hehe, cute.” Then don’t respond to him anymore, or endure a few days of badgering you about what you meant before you block him. Nothing like something confusing to keep him up at night.

#18 No, thanks. Say, “No, thanks.” Or better yet, send a GIF, clip, or meme that says just that. Tell him you are just not interested, using those two simple words. Besides, even if he asked you if he can send you a snap of his genitalia, you’d still have said the same thing.

#19 Spread the dick. Ah, the internet has given birth to places and sites where unthinking people that abuse technology belong, and people who send unwanted dick pics are no exception. You can send one that you’ve received over to http://dickpixudidntwant.tumblr.com. Maybe he’ll be famous there.

#20 Educate him. If he just sent you an unsolicited pic of his private parts, then he may be doing it to other women, too. Therefore, educate him be replying with a link to the article, “An open letter to men who send unwanted dick pics.”

The unsolicited dick pic is today’s catcall, the bane of the internet and mobile app dating. Not all women like it, they don’t typically ask for it, and they won’t be turned on instantly by it. Men hooting at women with their schlong doesn’t create an instant connection or suddenly spark attraction. More funny, disgusting, and traumatic than sexually stimulating, a dick pic can just leave women shocked.

[Read: 13 types of penises women love…or laugh at!]

A tip for all guys out there: before you even think about pulling your pants down and showing off your manhood, be sure that you get the mood going first. In addition, remember: you must always. ask. for. permission. If she says, “no,” she really means no.

Original article by LovePanky.com: 20 Clever Ways to Respond to an Unwanted Dick Pic.